215 The One Where Rachel and Ross... You Know
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler enter with Chandler covering his eyes and Joey leading him.]
JOEY: Alright, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking.
CHANDLER: Alright, alright, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
JOEY: Alright open your eyes. [opens his eyes to see two black leather recliners and a big screen TV]
CHANDLER: Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
JOEY: Huh? Days of our Lives picked up my option.
JOEY: I know.
CHANDLER: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
CHANDLER: So uh, which one is mine?
JOEY: Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. [Chandler starts to sit in one of the chairs] Not that one.
CHANDLER: [sits down] Ohh yes.
JOEY: [sits down] Ohh yeah, that's the stuff.
CHANDLER: [reaches for the footrest lever] Do we dare?
JOEY: We dare.
BOTH: [both extend the footrests] Aaahhhh. [both recline their chairs] AAAAHHHHHH.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
PHOEBE: I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up.
CHANDLER: Well they were chair-shaped cows. They never would have survived in the wild.
ROSS: This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size.
MONICA: Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she?
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
RACHEL: Hey you.
ROSS: Hey you. [they stand together in front of the TV.]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
RACHEL: So, uh, how was your day?
ROSS: Oh you know, pretty much the usual, uh, sun shining, birds chirping.
RACHEL: Really? Mine too.
PHOEBE: Hey cool, mine too.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
RACHEL: OK. [they go to kiss but everyone's watching so Ross just kisses her on the top of her head and leaves]
ROSS: Bye guys.
MONICA: [walks up to Rachel in front of the TV] Tonight?
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
MONICA: What's tonight?
RACHEL: It is our first official date. Our first date.
MONICA: Uh, hello.
MONICA: Tonight you're supposed to waitress for me, my catering thing, any of those words trigger anything for you?
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
MONICA: Yes but my mom got me this job.
PHOEBE: OK, I can be a waitress, I can be a waitress.
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
MONICA: Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.
PHOEBE: I ca
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Dr. Burke answers the door for Phoebe and Monica.]
PHOEBE: It's James Bond.
MONICA: Sorry we're late.
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
MONICA: Dr. Burke, it, it's me.
DR. BURKE: Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great.
MONICA: Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight.
DR. BURKE: Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. [Phoebe just giggles when they shake] So, how ya been?
MONICA: I've been great, just great. How have you been? [tilting her head]
DR. BURKE: Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt.
MONICA: The head tilt?
DR. BURKE: Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. [demonstrating] 'How ya doin'? You OK?'
MONICA: I'm sorry.
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
MONICA: [her and Phoebe tilt their heads] Oh, that's too bad.
DR. BURKE: [bobbing his head] I'll survive.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
JOEY: What if we have to pee?
CHANDLER: I'll cancel the sodas.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]
MONICA: You've got to get back out there, it's your party.
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
MONICA: You're an opthamologist.
DR. BURKE: Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif.
PHOEBE: [entering the kitchen from the party] That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract,
I get it, no I get it, you stay out there.
DR. BURKE: See.
MONICA: Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll come get you in 5 minutes with some sort of um, kabob emergency.
DR. BURKE: OK. You better. Oh God, here we go. Hey wanna see 'em go nuts? Watch this. [grabbing some wine glasses and opening the door to the party] Who needs glasses? [everyone laughs]
PHOEBE: You are so smitten.
MONICA: I am not.
PHOEBE: Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
MONICA: Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
PHOEBE: OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again?
MONICA: Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.
PHOEBE: Didn't you like, just get your eyes checked?
MONICA: Well yeah, but, you know, uh, 27 is a dangerous eye age.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
RACHEL: C'mon, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little. . . hard to follow.
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
RACHEL: I know, I just didn't want to wear my glasses on my first date.
[They start kissing.]
ROSS: It would really help when I'm kissing you if you didn't shout out my sister's
RACHEL: Honey, I'm just checking.
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]