Seven top psychological parable
(a) growth of the fable: a forever growing apple tree
An apple tree, and finally the results.
In the first year, it married 10 apples, 9 was taken, they are one.The apple tree aggrieved, and cut off its own channel, and refused to grow up.In the second year, it married five apples, four away, they receive one."Ha ha, I got a 10% last year, this year get 20%! Doubled."The apple tree psychological balance.
However, it can also be like this: continue to grow., for example, the next year, its fruit, 100, 90 was taken, they receive 10.
Probably, it was taken 99, they are one.But it doesn't matter, it also can continue to grow, and in the third year 1000 fruit...
In fact, how much fruit is not the most important.Most importantly, the apple trees growing!When the apple trees grow into towering trees, those who hinder the power of growth will be weak enough to ignore it.Really, don't be too care about fruit, growth is the most important.
Are you a psychological review 】 【 migrant workers has been cut off
its own channel?
Just began to work, you talented, high-spirited, believes that "only endowed me with talents for eventual use.But the reality soon knocked you several, perhaps, you made a great contribution for the unit no one seriously;Perhaps the only verbal value but not benefit;Maybe......In short,
you feel like the apple tree, bear fruit they enjoyed only a small part of, and your expectations.
So, you angry, upset you, you complain a lot...In the end, you decided to no longer strive to make our efforts to match their income.After a few years in the past, a reflection of you, that you, have no just work passion and talent.
"Old and mature.We are accustomed to such self-mockery.But the essence of which is, you have stopped growing.
Such a story, around us everywhere.
Make the mistake, because we forget that life is a journey, as a whole, we feel we have grown up, now is the time to the fruit.We are too care about a moment of gain and loss, and forget the growth is the most important thing.
Fortunately, this is not cut off its own channel in jin yong's novels.We are ready to give up to do this, the road to continue to grow.
Remember: if you are a working group, met don't understand management, rough or error management supervisor or corporate culture, then remind yourself, don't angry and disgruntled and cut off its own channel.No matter what, all want to be a forever growing apple tree, because your growth forever more important than how much money each month.
(2) the motivation of fable: who in the play for children
A group of kids playing in front of an old man, cry bitterly.A few days in the past, the old man is hard to bear.
So he comes out to 25 cents per child, said to them: "you make here is busy, I feel a lot younger, the money thanks."
Children are very happy, the second day still come, continue to play.The old man to get out again and gave each child 15 cents.He explains, he has no income, can only give some less.15 cents also can also, children are still happily go.
On the third day, the old man gave each child only five cents.
The children flew into a rage, "just 5 cents a day, know not to know how hard we are!"They swear to the elderly, they would never play for him!
Who you are and psychological review 】 【 "play"
This fable is the apple tree fable a deeper answer: the apple tree why will cut the meridians, because it is not "play" for yourself.
People's motivation is divided into two kinds: internal motivation and external motivation.If, in accordance with the internal motivation to act, we are the master of himself.If drives our external motivation, we will be swayed by external factors, become a slave to it.
In the parable, the old man's calculation is very simple, he will be the children's internal motivation for their happy and play into the external motivation "for cents and play", and he manipulated the cents the
external factors, so the children's manipulation.Fable of the old man, like you don't like your boss, boss?And cents, like don't like your salaries, bonuses, etc. All kinds of external rewards?
Such as the external evaluation as the reference coordinates, our mood is very vulnerable to fluctuations.Because we can't control the external factors, it is easy to deviate from our internal expectations, let us, let us grumble.Dissatisfaction and complaints and other negative emotions let's pain, to lessen the pain, we had to reduce the internal expectations, the most common way is to reduce the degree of efforts. One external evaluation system is formed, the main reason is that parents like to control him.Parents love using verbal rewards and punishments, material rewards and punishments, such as control children, and to ignore the child own motives.Over time, the child will forget his original motive, do care about the outside of the evaluation.At school, he forgot the original motivation of learning - curiosity and the joy of learning;After work, he forgot the original motivation of work --,
grow up happy, your manager's comments and income fluctuation has become the biggest source of pleasure and pain he work.
Remember: external evaluation system is often a family, but you can break it, from now on, cultivate your own internal evaluation system, make study and work "and play" for himself.
(3) the planning of the fable: put a piece of paper folded 51 times
Imagine that you have a large enough paper in his hand.Now, your task is to fold it 51 times.So, how high is it?
A fridge?A layer of floor?Or a skyscraper is so high?No, too much difference, the thickness of more than the distance between the earth and the sun.
Up to now, I take this fable asked a dozen people, only two people, said this could be a imagine, while others think height is a skyscraper is so high.
Folding 51 times the height of the terror, but if it is only 51 of blank fold together?
This comparison let many people feel shocked.Because there is no direction in life, lack of planning, like the 51 simple piece of white paper folded together.To do this today and tomorrow to do that, don't have a relationship between each effort.In this way, even if every job to do very well, they also for your whole life is only simple superposition.
Of course, life fable is more complicated than this.Some people, the direction of life as a simple do it firmly and, their life and finally reached the height of the others do not match.For example, one of my friends in the life direction is English, he spent ten years of efforts, the only word memory quantity to reach more than ten, in this met the height of the
average person cannot.
Also some people, their life direction is clear, such as a company to do the boss, so, they need a lot of skills, professional skills, management skills, communication skills, decision-making and so on.In the first place they might try to do this, and try to do that, and nothing is particularly proficient, but in the end, before start a company to do the boss in this direction will these seemingly scattered integration efforts together, this also is a kind of complex life fold, rather than the simple superposition. Remember: visible strength is more useful than the invisible power.
Now, popular from out of sight for the answers, such as potential development, such as success, thought that our life depends on some miracle can be saved.But, in my opinion, the dongguan heng yuan counseling center consultant Mao Zheng speak more correctly, "through the planning and make good use of the existing ability is more important than to excavate the potential of the so-called."
(4) to escape the parable: the cat ran away the shadow
"The shadow that's disgusting!"Tom kitten and toby are think so, "we must get rid of it."
However, wherever, Tom and toby found that appear as long as the sun, they will see his shadow makes them mad.
However, Tom and toby finally found their own solution.Tom's method is, with your eyes closed forever.Toby's way is, always stay in the
shadow of the other things.
This fable, a little psychological problem is how to become more psychological problems.
It can be said that all psychological problems from the distortion of facts.What is the truth?The main negative events are those who make us painful.
Because of the pain experience, we don't want to face the negative event.But, once happened, such a negative event is destined to accompany our life, we can do, but most is suppressed them to the subconscious, the so-called forget it.
However, they will still continue to play a role in the
subconscious.And, even if the facts we forget again, these facts that accompany the pain still will hit us, let us inexplicably sad sad, but unable to contain.Let us further efforts to escape the pain.
The solution of the development in the end, usually is the two: or, we like Tom kitten, completely distorted his own experience, for all the negative fact important in my life to turn a blind eye;Or, we like cat toby, simply take refuge in pain, his own things so very bad, since everything is so bad, that let yourself the most sad original event does not ache so much.
Baiyun mental hospital consultants nov, said 99% of drug users had a
painful experience.They are using drugs, is to make themselves to escape the pain.It's like hid in the shadow, painful is the fact that a demon, in order to avoid the devil, simply sell themselves to greater demons. There are a lot of adult alcohol, they had a drink and abusive father, a lot of torture by the father.In order to forget the pain, they learned the same way.
Besides the visible error method, we humans also invented many kinds of all kinds of methods to avoid pain, Freud called the way of psychological defense mechanism.Too painful, it is necessary to the defense mechanism, but worse, if the psychological defense mechanism of distortion of fact too much, it will bring out more and more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety, multiple personalities, even schizophrenia.
There is only one real arrived in healthy way - - face to face with pain.To face the pain of people will get a lot of unexpected harvest from the pain, they will eventually become the wealth of life.
Remember: the shadow and light, is the wealth of life.
Psychological rule is one of the most important, no matter how painful, you are inescapable.You can only go to face it bravely and solve it, beyond it, eventually reached a settlement with it.If you own a temporary lack of power, you can look for help, looking for friends and family help, or looking for professional help, let someone you trust with
you together to face the pain.
American psychologist Rogers was the most lonely people, but when he face the facts and resolve, he became a true master of interpersonal relationship;American psychologist frank has an abusive and alcoholic stepfather and a bad mother, but the fact that when he challenges and eventually forgive from the heart after the parents, he became an expert treatment on the issue.Japanese psychologist Tian Zheng horse was severe neurosis patients, but the fact that he through the challenges and finally developed the morita therapy...Their life the most painful fact finally became their most important asset.You, as also can do it.
(5) action of fables --, crabs, owls and bats
Go to cram school vice crabs, owls and bats.Several years later, they all graduate and doctorate.Crab is still rife, however, the owl is still sleeping during the day night, the bat is still down.
This is huang yongyu master a fable, its meaning is simple: action is more important than knowledge.
Use of mental health, the fable and thought-provoking.
Knowledge of psychology is extensive and profound.However, it is a good knowledge of psychology more cannot automatically help a person become healthier.In fact, I know some of the studied psychology of people for many years, their learning psychology of one of the
purposes is to treat yourself, but learned after so many years, their problem remains.
The emergence of this situation is a very important reason is that they didn't physically, that knowledge is the knowledge of the distant, knowledge is not turned to their own life experience.
One of my friends like psychology, have been a number of people think that psychology is not sensitive, not suitable for learning psychology.But it turns out that this speculation is not correct.He is sensitive enough, but he has a very big advantage: know that a good knowledge, immediately to perform in the life of their own.As a result, the remote real knowledge becomes the experience of life, he doesn't have to "read" too much, can help oneself, and to help many people.
If, high sensitivity is a kind of talent quality, the high line power quality is more important than genius.
The parable can also lead to another meaning: don't count on the magic of mysterious psychological treatment.The power of the most important forever in your body, the mystery of the knowledge, the mysterious potential development, glaring success, etc., are far less important than the power you have.We used to go out to find the answer to another looking for power, but forgot the strength is in his body.
Remember: the knowledge can't automatically save you.