Child have Internet addiction Parents do?
Dad don't kiss is not painful
Many parents only care about their children to study, ignore the social emotional needs, attention to the cultivation of other interests, no warmth between parents and children.
Ng to, emaciated quiet, softly slow.It is hard to imagine the Beijing school sophomore, half a year ago in Beijing military region general hospital adolescent psychological development base on the playground, in public to send him to quit addiction's mother a heavy box on the ear.
"My life has been very dull. Since junior high school, but sleep is basically to learn."Review your growth environment, ng to tell us, "my
father is a Chinese teacher, on learning, and I don't have much communication. In high school and university, we communicate less."
In 2011, the study has not been admitted to their good ng to the yearning of fudan university.Staring at a computer on the transcript, he leng for a long time, the five out of the door.To Beijing university, is mother to choose software engineering, his interest in learning.The freshman half semester, mathematics is "fail".Vacation home, ng to coming out, sleeping during the day and night to get to the Internet.See long hair, thin, his family thought he lost his soul, to find "soul", he fled back to Beijing.
Back to school, he often in Internet cafes.College students and migrant workers, "the Internet bar a than a stay up late. My self-control when someone supervision can also, nobody tube bundle after college, let themselves go."Ng to bubble in the Internet bar day and night, the game is full of life.Skipping classes less than a month, the school inform his parents.Parents hurried from shandong home came with a group of relatives, forcibly sent him to Internet addiction treatment base.
"Ideal self and real self cannot be unified, sometimes will escape."Addicted to the Beijing military region general hospital medical center director, director of the adolescent mental growth base tao ran, believe that many college students are addicted to online games, is the deep reason behind the mental problems.
The base of has treated more than 5000 cases of statistics found that Internet addiction teenagers have similar family background and personality characteristics.A family environment is indifference, a lack of warmth;Second, life is monotonous, narrow interest;Third, poor social skills, lack of friends;4 it is self less esteemed."Lack of parents' love is a major cause of adolescent Internet addiction."Addicted to the Beijing military region general hospital medical center of the cases were treated with statistics found that the majority of Internet addiction teenagers 3 years ago, more than half a year of separation with parents, not to build a good parent-child relationship."Family is the cradle of children experience emotions, the development of emotional intelligence."Tao ran said, if the parents cannot provide children need sense of security, respect, intimacy and love, children are easy to timid, inferiority, lack of a sense of accomplishment and sense of belonging, sharp resistance, emotional management ability and self-control.
In addition, the Internet addiction children also lack of peer relationship, the relationship between teachers and students and other supportive relationships.Should be taken in the children grow up with the neighbors, relatives, playmates around establish interpersonal communication is more and more close, this is the need of their social attribute.
However, many parents only care about their children to study, ignore the social emotional needs, and no attention to the cultivation of other interests.When a child in the reality gap with parents, students, goals for the future feel lost, just see it as an escape from a problem, the only way to experience human emotion.
Bad parenting style is the driving force
A child fell into the abyss of Internet addiction, it is the parents' raising teaching problems, spoiled and control.87% of Internet addiction teenagers lack of father love, the two sides to communicate effectively on average less than 1 hour per week, the class children generally high low self-esteem and depression.
14, binbin from yulin in shaanxi province.This year began in March in online games, curtilage in the home, had a very dark.Father threatened him to inform the teacher in charge, he swallowed glass to suicide.Dad panic, but allowed him to drop out of school.In the summer of July, dad bought tickets to take a trip to his traveling him not to go.After more than 20 days, dad tourism return, said to have been at home to play online games binbin, "son, don't play, try me back."The words sound just fell, he shot up a chock daddy's neck...Dad afraid, consult with mom, grandpa, grandma, cheat him to treatment in Beijing.
"Children are parents mirror."Binbin psychological doctor adolescent psychological development base, Beijing military region general hospital
physician Shelley lee said, the child fell into the abyss of Internet addiction, is parents keep teaching way out of the question.
According to introducing, binbin parents dotes on to him in life.Winter when having a meal, the mother bowl set small bowl, intermediate pouring hot water heat preservation, lest he eat cold.Elementary school, in order to let him to oversleep in the morning, mother asleep in the bed to he put on his clothes.But in learning, the work as a teacher of the father to his request.Dad temper nasty, binbin temper slowly, a bit not serious then beat and scold, starting from the school is not happiness, dad is hate.
"We have done in 3500 children cases of Internet addiction survey, among them hate parents, classmates hate, hate the teacher accounted for a large percentage."Tao ran, "58% of Internet addiction teenagers played parents. Their psychological problems mainly from family injury."
"However, is lack of father love, family injury, as high as 87%."According to the survey, the majority of Internet addiction teenagers bad relationship with his father, after 6 years of age is generally lack of father love, the two sides effective communication time on average less than 1 hour per week."Father in a child's growth is a spiritual symbol, give them the strength and pride and courage.", said tao ran, a workaholic father, love the angry father, too introverted disposition wooden and passivity of the father, is easy to cause lack of
father love, leading to a high Internet addiction young low self-esteem, depression.
"The second is the parents' upbringing and spoil and control."Tao ran, said, "we found that Internet addiction the child's parents, teachers, most accounts for about 30%, followed by civil servants, the third is the business. The Chinese family education exists serious
The first is education is more than love."Education first, parent-child relationship second parents. More weight is given to children's study, don't care about the emotion communication."Said tao ran, psychology tells us that the "tree of life" concept, the parent-child relationship is the "root", only its thick developed, children for their physical and mental health growth, the tree of life evergreen.Harmonious parent-child relationship means understanding, respect, support and affirmation, but in reality, many parents do not have love, only education, lead to low self evaluation, inferiority, depression and other psychological problems, so as to find outlet.
Second is to put the responsibility is equivalent to love.Internet addiction young parents thinks that they give their children is the best, that lets the child the best schools, provide the best condition is love, actually these are only responsibility.True love is to meet the child mental, psychological and physiological needs.Internet addiction
teenagers serious necessities parents care, so seek sustenance from the virtual world.
"Took off economic development in our country, the education idea didn't keep up."Shelley lee said that, in the past did not have money to buy the computer, also can not contact with online games.Have the conditions now, parents are "talk about color change in the net."Electronic heroin" is a way for Chinese Internet put forward severe challenges.
Improve the family environment is the key
Parents should strive to build a harmonious family relationships, to give children enough to accompany, communication, respect and encouragement.
16 yuan in Beijing military region general hospital of jilin girl adolescent psychological development base for 4 months, she study hard, strive for to home after 2 months.
"We get up at 6 o 'clock in the morning PaoCao, have group lessons in the morning or lectures, military training or playing games in the afternoon, at 9 p.m. and half an hour's physical training.", "said yuan group in class, we each other when the therapist, exchange their Internet addiction, discuss Internet addiction harm."
Adolescent psychological development base in China by the Chinese communist youth network association nine ministries and commissions
such as form together with the Beijing military region general hospital.Founded in 2006, to take psychology, medicine, military training, education, social experience, "five one" mode of treatment, comprehensive intervention of adolescents' psychological and behavioral problems, of a child come here to accept the closed-end management of 3-6 months.
"Emotion does not eliminate, reason not to."Addiction medical center, deputy director of the Beijing military region general hospital, deputy director of the adolescent psychological development base, silver yun said that the first 10 days, don't let the children see their parents.Stay mood to calm down, and then according to the situation given the corresponding individual therapy, group therapy or family therapy.
Children in the process of Internet addiction, parents play an important role.The base set up to open the parents at the beginning of class, qualified parents teach parents how to do.Morning the children group lesson study of the problem, to get the parents in the afternoon of group discussion in class, let parents and children learn and grow together.
Said "in the past, the life between heaven and earth. It is now, people live in the network."Ng to the father of lament, when using the Internet, based on network has become the present a way of life, parents need to
keep up with The Times, have proper knowledge of Internet addiction, guide the children's health using the network.
"Against Internet addiction this scourge, first of all to improve the family environment."Binbin father realized that parents should strive to build a harmonious family relations, to discover the advantages of the children, change the idea of "to the theory of achievement hero".
"Anxious parents rather than rush to retake children from online games, not to find a way to make the life of the child first rich rise."Yuan's father, should give the child enough to accompany and communicate, understand the children's needs, targeted for their sake.Take them out, for example, travel or to do some meaningful things, let the children transfer to the attention of online games.
Prevent teenagers Internet addiction, tao ran advice: one is the family prevention.Try not to let the child before the age of 7 in contact with the "electronic nanny", etc.The second is to establish a good parent-child relationship, to give children enough warmth, respect and
encouragement.Three is to encourage children to make more friends, build more partnership, avoid excessive indrawn, autistic.Four is to cultivate children a wide range of hobbies, encourage them to take part in physical exercise, more cultural activities.Five is to let the children's ideal self and real self as far as possible close.