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The Devil Wears Prada

By Gail Stewart,2014-01-15 09:32
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The Devil Wears Prada

The Devil Wears Prada script

[Squeaks]

[Woman Singing]

[Continues]

[Continues]

-[Continues] -Good luck.

[Continues]

[Children Giggling]

[Continues]

-[Continues] -[Horn Honks]

     [Continues]

[Ends]

[Bell Dings]

    Hi. Uh, I have an appointment with Emily Charlton?

-Andrea Sachs? -Yes.

    Great. Human Resources certainly has an odd sense of humor.

Follow me.

Okay, so I was Miranda's second assistant…

but her first assistant recently got promoted, and so now I'm the first.

    -Oh, and you're replacing yourself. -Well, I am trying.

    Miranda sacked the last two girls after only a few weeks.

    We need to find someone who can survive here. Do you understand?

Yeah. Of course. Who's Miranda?

    Oh, my God. I will pretend you did not just ask me that.

    She's the editor in chief of Runway, not to mention a legend.

    You work a year for her, and you can get a job at any magazine you want.

A million girls would kill for this job.

    It sounds like a great opportunity. I'd love to be considered.

[Giggling]

Andrea, Runway is a fashion magazine…

so an interest in fashion is crucial.

    What makes you think I'm not interested in fashion?

-[Cell Phone Ringing] -Oh, my God.

No! No! No!

What's wrong?

She's on her way. Tell everyone!

She's not supposed to be here until 9:00.

    Her driver just text messaged, and her facialist ruptured a disk.

    -God, these people! -[Whistles, Whispers] Who's that?

That I can't even talk about.

All right, everyone! Gird your loins!

    -[Excited Chattering] -Did somebody eat an onion bagel?

[Exhales, Sniffs]

[Bell Dings]

Sorry, Miranda.

[Bell Dings]

Move it! Ooh!

    I don't understand why it's so difficult to confirm an appointment.

    I know. I'm so sorry, Miranda. I actually did confirm last night.

Details of your incompetence do not interest me.

    Tell Simone I'm not going to approve that girl that she sent me for the Brazilian layout.

    I asked for clean, athletic, smiling. She sent me dirty, tired and paunchy.

And R.S.V.P. Yes to the Michael Kors party.

    I want the driver to drop me off at 9:30 and pick me up at 9:45 sharp.

    -[Whispers] 9:45 sharp. -Call Natalie at Glorious Foods, tell her no for the 40th time.

    No, I don't want dacquoise. I want tortes filled with warm rhubarb compote.

    Then call my ex-husband and remind him the parent-teacher conference is at Dalton tonight.

    Then call my husband, ask him to meet me for dinner at that place I went to with Massimo.

    Tell Richard I saw the pictures that he sent for that feature on the female paratroopers…

and they're all so deeply unattractive.

    Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender female paratrooper?

-No. -Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really.

    Also, I need to see all the things that Nigel has pulled for Gwyneth's second cover try.

    I wonder if she's lost any of that weight yet. Who's that?

Nobody. Um, uh…

    Human Resources sent her up about the new assistant job, and I was preinterviewing her.

But she's hopeless and totally wrong for it.

Clearly I'm going to have to do that myself because the last two you sent

    me…

were completely inadequate.

So send her in. That's all.

Right.

-She wants to see you. -Oh! She does?

     Move!

-This is foul. Don't let her see it. Go! -That's…

[Sighs]

Who are you?

Uh, my name is Andy Sachs.

    I recently graduated from Northwestern University.

And what are you doing here?[Clears Throat]

    Well, I think I could do a good job as your assistant.

And, um…

    Yeah, I came to New York to be a journalist and sent letters out everywhere…

and then finally got a call from Elias-Clarke…

and met with Sherry up at Human Resources.

    Basically, it's this or Auto Universe.

    -So you don't read Runway? -Uh, no.

     And before today, you had never heard of me.

No.

    And you have no style or sense of fashion.

Well, um, I think that depends on what you're…

No, no. That wasrt a question.

Um, I was editor in chief of the Daily Northwestern.

I also, um, won a national competition for college journalists…

    with my series on thejanitors'union, which exposed the exploitation…

That's all.

[Scoffs]

Yeah. You know, okay.

You're right. I don't fit in here.

I am not skinny or glamorous…

    and I don't know that much about fashion.

But I'm smart.

    I learn fast and I will work very hard.

I got the exclusive on the Cavalli for Gwyneth…

but the problem is, with that huge feathered headdress that she's

    wearing…

she looks like she's working the main stage at the Golden Nugget.

Thank you for your time.

Who is that sad little person?

    after piece I don't know about? Are we doing a before-and-

Brown and Law, please?Thank you.

-Andrea. -Hmm?

    Wait. You got a job at a fashion magazine?

-Mm-hmm. -What was it, a phone interview?

-[Woman] wow. -Ow! Don't be a jerk.

    Miranda Priestly is famous for being unpredictable.

    Okay, Doug. How is it that you know who she is and I didn't?

     -I'm actually a girl. -Oh!

    -That would explain so much. -[Doug] Look, seriously.

Miranda Priestly is a huge deal. I bet a million girls would kill for that

    job.

    Yeah, great. The thing is I'm not one of them.

    [Woman] Look, you gotta start somewhere, right?

I mean, look at this dump Nate works in.

I mean, come on. Paper napkins? Hello.

Yeah. And Lily, she works at that gallery doing, uh, you know…

    Oh, I'm sorry. What exactly is it that you do anyway?

    Well, lucky for me, I already have my dream job.

    [With Lily] You're a corporate research analyst!

-Oh, you're right. My job sucks. -No!

-It sucks. I don't… It's boring. -It's all right. Breathe.

-I'm trying. -Here. Take a drink.

    -I will have a drink. I will have a drink. -Ah, yes.

    -I'd like to propose a toast. To jobs that pay the rent. -To jobs that pay the rent.

[Lily] Jobs that pay the rent.

    Oh, baby. You should see the way these girls at Runway dress.

I don't have a thing to wear to work.

    Come on. You're gonna be answering phones and getting coffee.

You need a ball gown for that?

I think I might.

Well, I happen to think you look great always.

Aww! I think you're full of it.

[Giggling]

-Hey. Come on. Let's go home. -Yeah.

    I can think of something we can do that doesn't require any clothing.

-Really? -Mmm.

-[Phone Ringing] -[Woman Singing]

Hello?

Andrea, Miranda decided to kill the autumn jacket story for September…

    and she is pulling up the Sedona shoot from October.

    You need to come into the office right this second and pick up her coffee order on the way.

    -Now? -Now, get a pen and write this down.

    -Now? -Now, get a pen and write this down.

I want one no-foam skimmed latte with an extra shot…

and three drip coffees with room for milk.

    -Searing hot. And I mean hot. -[Line Clicks]

-[Continues] -[Cell Phone Ringing]

Hello?

    -[Emily] Where are you? -Oh, I'm almost there. Yeah.

Shoot! Oh!

     [Ends]

    Is there some reason that my coffee isn't here?

Has she died or something?

No. [Whispers] God.

Oh. Bloody time.

-I hope you know that this is a very difficult job… -Mm-hmm.

For which you are totally wrong.

    And if you mess up, my head is on the chopping block.

    Now, hang that up. Don't just fling it anywhere.

    Okay. First of all, you and I answer the phones.

    The phone must be answered every single time it rings.

    Calls roll to voice mail, and she gets very upset.

If I'm not here… Andrea, Andrea…

you are chained to that desk.

-Well, what if I need to… -What? No.

    One time an assistant left the desk because she sliced her hand open with a letter opener…

and Miranda missed Lagerfeld…

    just before he boarded a 17-hour flight to Australia.

She now works at TVGuide.

    -Man the desk at all times. Got it. -[Phone Rings]

-Uh… -Miranda Priestly's office.

No, she's not available.

-Who is it? -[Mouthing Words]

Yes, I will tell her you called… yet again.

    -[Bell Chimes] -Right. Remember, you and I have totally differentjobs.

I mean, you get coffee… [Scoffs] and you run errands.

Yet I am in charge of her schedule…

her appointments and her expenses.

And, um, most importantly, um…

    I get to go with her to Paris for Fashion Week in the fall.

    I get to wear couture. I go to all the shows and all the parties.

I meet all of the designers. It's divine.

    Okay. Now, stay here. I'm going to the art department to give them the Book.

-The… -This is the Book.

Now, it is a mock-up of everything…

in the current issue.

And we deliver it to Miranda's apartment every night, and she retu…

Don't touch it. She returns it to us in the morning with her notes.

Now, the second assistant is supposed to do this…

but Miranda is very private and she does not like strangers in her house.

So until she decides that you are not a total psycho…

    I get the lovely task of waiting around for the Book.

-[Phone Rings] -Oh, Emily? What do I do…

Deal with it. -[Rings] -

[Sighs]

[Rings]

Hello. Mrs. Priestly's office.

    Hmm. That's what I meant. Miranda Priestly's office.

[Groans]

    Um, you know, she is in a meeting. Can I please take a message?

Uh-huh.

Okay. Can you please spell Gabbana?

-[Line Clicks, Dial Tone Hums] -Hello?

I guess not.

I guessed an eight and a half.

Um, uh, that's very nice of you…

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