How to Eat for Free
I spend most time on some forums when I am on internet. People on line seem to show their life by means of posting, such as show their new apartment, new-born baby, things they bought etc. It’s quite interesting to know some strangers life this way. An idea suddenly came up to me when I notice that many brides-to-be like to record their
preparation for wedding ceremony. And some people will announce the death of family member on newspaper so that to call all friends of the decedent to take part in the funeral and have dinner. Since they published all the information about the ceremonies, why can’t I come without invitation? As far as I know, on the current wedding/funeral banquet, there will be some vacant position at last one or two tables (Usually the host will have a banquet with about 15 to 30 tables and at each table sit 10 people.) while the dishes on these tables are the same with others. Now that they have enough food but fewer guests, let’s “help” them in case deliciousness wasted.
You may wonder by what means can you get such information? Well, as I mentioned before, such information might available through browsing forums on the Internet since girls like to put down their big things or in some newspapers. Another way is that you may even peek invitations which other people have got and remember the date and address. Based on that, now I am making a perfect plan for how to eat for
free. It might include nine steps when you go to a strangers’ banquet and some
necessary tools should be prepared in advance such as proper clothes, sun glasses and makeup.
First of all, you must collect useful and correct information, thus you will know who, when and where you can take a hearty meal. I suggest you spend some time in forums and try to know something about protagonists and I’m sure it’s rewarding.
Now you have decided whose guest you would be. Before you come to the banquet, pay much attention to your dress. It depends on what kind of banquet you are going to attend. If it’s a wedding, you can wear something casual. If it’s a funeral, you
should in dark color and a pair of big sunglass is a good tool since it can cover half of your face and help you to conceal your appearance. You know, maybe it’s hard for
you to cry or show sad emotion. Anyway, no matter on what occasion you should wear property and don’t be loudly dressed unless you want to be doubted.
It’s time to go out now. Your time for arriving is very important. Don’t be too
early in case someone will talk to you but you don’t know how to response. Similarly,
if you don’t want to be focused, don’t be late. In a word, to reach there 2 or 3 minutes
earlier is better.
As a guest without invitation, you know where to sit. Pick up a table in a corner. Usually, guests sit at this table don’t know each other well so you needn’t worry.
Walk straight to your place and sit down. To show your manners, my advice is that you can smile or nod to the people beside you. The most important thing is that you should choose a right moment to pretend greeting the host with a gesture, which ensures others that you are the guest as they are. Remember, just pretend it.
After finish these things, the banquet is about to begin and all you need to do is to wish yourself a good appetite. During eating, you should listen to others’ talking,
especially when they are talking about the host. You can nod your head to show your agreement or look at the speakers. If someone asks you something, you’d better avoid
it. If can’t, the information you have collected is useful now and you can also make up something. Who knows! Just remember that you are in a banquet and proper communication is necessary. What’s more, in Chinese banquet, the host usually toast
table by table. I think you should leave your seat when they come to your table. So you’d better make the best use of your time and eat as much as possible. That’s
another reason to choose the table in a corner. Usually the guests there are the last to be toasted.
About an hour later, it’s your turn to meet the host. In order to avoid it, you should find a reason to leave for a while. Then you can hide somewhere and wait for the host leaving your table.
A moment later, you can get back to your seat and grasp the last time to eat because when host finish toasting, it means the banquet will end soon. At the same time, you ask your tablemates whether the host has been here and show your pity when you were told that you missed him/her and tell others you are going to meet the
host before you leave. Now take your belongings and say goodbye to others.
Don’t take it serious that I said you would meet the host. My real meaning is that you should leave directly.
After reading this, I’m sure you can’t wait planning your own free meal. To be
responsible, I’d like to give you more helpful hints. I suppose one thing you possibly worry is that if you see the host face-to-face, what can you do? First be calm. Next, smile to him/her and say that you were here to attend someone’s (make up a name)
banquet. Obviously, the host will tell you that you came to the wrong place. Then you should pretend being surprised and explain that you must have mixed the place. Though you can’t have meals as expected, at last you can avoid being kicked out. Another problem is that, if others keep talking to you, what should you response? For example, in a funeral banquet, you can pretend extremely sad and can’t say anything
because you are going to cry anytime. In a wedding banquet, like I have mentioned previously, just make up some anecdotes about the host. Don’t worry others will
doubt you. It has big possibility that he/she is the person come for free meal as you are!