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Restitution a strategy for resolving conflicts between people

By Leslie Henry,2014-04-12 21:59
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Restitution a strategy for resolving conflicts between people

    Restitution

What is it? (my understanding not a quote)

    Restitution: a strategy creating conditions for people to fix their mistakes using a common language towards understanding of individual needs (through understanding and compassion)

Why is it important?

    Everyone has needs that we try to meet; however, we sometimes do so by infringing on the needs of others. Resolving conflicts through Restitution involves asking questions to help students understand the needs they are trying to meet and the needs of other‟s they are hurting.

What are the needs?

Needs: (what we all need)

    1. Security: our need for food, shelter, safety

    2. Love: our need for belonging, friendship, and caring

    3. Power: our need for importance, recognition, skills

    4. Fun: our need pleasure, enjoyment, learning, laughter

    5. Freedom: choice, independence, liberty

    Beliefs arise from these 5 Basic Needs…..

     *beliefs (e.g. people need to be safe)

     form the basis of rules (e.g. wear a helmet)

     to meet Basic Needs (e.g. security i.e. safety)

What are the types of questions we ask using Restitution?

NBA: acronym for Restitution Questions (Teacher Workbook #1 p 4)

Needs: (what we all need)

    When having a restitution conversation with someone, you are asking questions like

    ; Think about what you need here.

    ; What need of his/hers was hurt?

    ; Can you both get what you need?

    Beliefs: (usually the basis for school rules to help us meet everyone‟s needs)

    When having a restitution conversation with someone, you are asking questions like

    ; What are your family beliefs about this?

    ; What do we believe in our class about how we treat people?

    ; Do you believe it?

    A human Being (Visualizing what kind of person we want to be e.g. how we want to behave) When having a restitution conversation with someone, you are asking questions like

    ; Think about the kind of person you want to be in the situation?

    ; Are you a person who wants to fix things?

    ; Do you want to keep going when the going gets rough?

Exploring These Ideas: 60 most frequently asked questions

Needs: (what we all need)

     Stages of Restitution (Teacher Workbook #1 p 20)

    Sorry Is Not Enough

    Although saying sorry is often a good place to begin „fixing mistakes‟ it is often not

    enough. Restitution works through four stages of „saying sorry‟.

    1. “Sorry”

    2. “Sorry” + trying to do something nice

    3. “Sorry” + trying to do something nice + talking about needs of the person hurt as well

    as their own needs

    4. “Sorry” + trying to do something nice + talking about needs of the person hurt as well

    as their own needs + inventing something new that wasn‟t there before

Beliefs: (the basis for school rules to help us meet everyone‟s needs)

    (activity adapted from Social Contract p 11)

I see school rules as arising from beliefs that we hold as we try to meet everyone's needs

    Think about our school rules (ones we have and ones you would like us to have) and…..

    1. write down your beliefs about an ideal school (write them on the chart paper)

    2. as a group discuss and share ideas

    3. create a list of common believes about our school that we all can agree to

    4. clarify any terms that seem vague to us

    5. identify needs behind these beliefs

    6. dialogue about term(s) where there is disagreement

    Y chart (Social Contract p 14)

    Our Ideal Sinkutview School

     What does it look like?

    ;

    ;

    ;

    ;

    ;

    ;

    What does it sound like? What does it feel like?

; ;

    ; ;

    ; ;

    ; ;

    ; ;

     ;

    A human Being: (Visualizing what kind of person (teacher) we want to be e.g. how we want to

    respond to conflicts)

    Role-play dialogues (Restitution Triangle p 26)

    Lingering thoughts I am asking myself:

    1. What are my basic needs in my classroom, in the school?

    2. When do I feel student behaviours infringe on these needs?

    3. When I discuss a problem a student is having, how can I use Restitution language to

    help both of us to

    ; understand the needs he/she is trying to meet

    ; understand the needs of another they are infringing upon, and

    ; use questions and stages of Restitution to help fix the problem and work towards

    preventing future similar problems

    Practicing the Process

    Social Contract p 22

    ; personal needs: students brainstorm what they need to have a good day ; family rules: with their families, have students brainstorm family rules

    o try to have them connect these to some big ideas e.g. safety, respect (family

    beliefs)

    o share those ideas and example of some rules (highlight common areas) ; classroom rules: with a partner, brainstorm classroom rules (unspoken as well)

    o try to have them connect these to some big ideas e.g. safety, respect

    o share those ideas and example of some rules (highlight common areas) ; school rules: with a partner, brainstorm classroom rules (unspoken as well)

    o try to have them connect these to some big ideas e.g. safety, respect

    o share those ideas and example of some rules (highlight common areas) ; create a list of big ideas e.g. respect, fun

    ; move this list towards the Restitution list of Five Basic Needs ; Restitution Basics p 22 26

    o students draw or list things they do to meet those Basic Needs

    o discuss some ways that in the past may have infringed on other people‟s needs

    ; Sorry if Not Enough: exploring using the restitution steps (Restitution Basics p 28)

    * Using this form in reverse, explore situations I encounter repeatedly

    My Need Initiator Initiator‟s Needs Other Student‟s

    Needs

    Power: skill - student not - Love? friendship - Security?

    Fun? completing work - Power? recognition safety

    teaching - Fun? pleasure - Fun? learning

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