THE SNAKE, THE CROCODILE AND THE DOG
"Some concessions to temperament are necessary if the marital state is to flourish."
I believe I may truthfully claim that I have never been daunted by danger or drudgery. Of the two I much prefer the former. As the only unmarried offspring of my widowed and extremely absentminded father, I was held responsible for the management of the household— which, as
every woman knows, is the most difficult, unappreciated, and lowest paid (i.e., not paid) of all occupations. Thanks to the above mentioned absentmindedness of my paternal parent I managed to avoid boredom by pursuing such unwomanly studies as history and languages, for Papa never minded what I did so long as his meals were on time, his clothing was clean and pressed, and he was not disturbed by anyone for any reason whatever. At least I thought I was not bored. The truth is, I had nothing with which to compare that life, and no hope of a better one. In those declining years of the nineteenth century, marriage was not an alternative that appealed to me; it would have been to exchange comfortable serfdom for absolute slavery— or
so I believed. (And I am still of that opinion as regards the majority of women.) My case was to be the exception that proves the rule, and had I but known what unimagined and unimaginable delights awaited me, the bonds that chafed me would have been unendurable. Those bonds were not broken until the death of my poor papa left me the possessor of a modest fortune and I set out to see the ancient sites I knew only from books and photographs. In the antique land of Egypt I learned at last what I had been missing— adventure, excitement, danger, a life's work
that employed all my considerable intellectual powers, and the companionship of that remarkable man who was destined for me as I was for him.
What mad pursuits! What struggles to escape! What wild ecstasy!
* * *
I am informed, by a certain person of the publishing persuasion, that I have not set about this in the right way She maintains that if an author wishes to capture the attention of her readers she must begin with a scene of violence and/or passion.
"I mentioned— er— 'wild ecstasy,'" I said.
The person gave me a kindly smile. "Poetry, I believe? We do not allow poetry, Mrs. Emerson It slows the narrative and confuses the Average Reader." (This apocryphal individual is always referred to by persons of the publishing persuasion with a blend of condescension and superstitious awe, hence my capital letters.)
"What we want is blood," she continued, with mounting enthusiasm. "And a lot of it! That should be easy for you, Mrs. Emerson. I believe you have encountered a good many murderers."
This was not the first time I had considered editing my journals for eventual publication, but never before had I gone so far as to confer with an editor, as these individuals are called. I was forced to explain that if her views were characteristic of the publishing industry today, that industry would have to muddle along without Amelia P. Emerson. How I scorn the shoddy tricks of sensationalism which characterize modern literary productions! To what a state has the noble art of literature fallen in recent years! No longer is a reasoned, leisurely exposition admired, instead the reader is to be bludgeoned into attention by devices that appeal to the lowest and most degraded of human instincts.
The publishing person went away shaking her head and mumbling about murder. I was sorry to disappoint her, for she was a pleasant enough individual— for an American. I trust that remark
will not leave me open to an accusation of chauvinism, Americans have many admirable characteristics, but literary taste is rare among them. If I consider this procedure again, I will
consult a British publisher.
* * *
I suppose I might have pointed out to the naive publishing person that there are worse things than murder. Dead bodies I have learned to take in my stride, so to speak, but some of the worst moments of my life occurred last winter when I crawled on all fours through indescribable refuse toward the place where I hoped, and feared, to find the individual dearer to me than life itself. He had been missing for almost a week I could not believe any prison could hold a man of his intelligence and strength so long unless . . . The hideous possibilities were too painful to contemplate, mental anguish overwhelmed the physical pain of bruised knees and scratched palms, and rendered inconsequential the fear of enemies on every hand. Already the swollen orb of day hung low in the west. The shadows of the coarse weeds stretched gray across the grass, touching the walls of the structure that was our goal. It was a small low building of stained mud-brick that seemed to squat sullenly in its patch of refuse-strewn dirt. The two walls visible to me had neither windows nor doors. A sadistic owner might keep a dog in such a kennel . . .
Swallowing hard, I turned to my faithful reis Abdullah, who was close at my heels. He shook his head warningly and placed a finger on his lips. A gesture conveyed his message: the roof was our goal. He gave me a hand up and then followed.
A crumbling parapet shielded us from sight, and Abdullah let out his breath in a gasp. He was an old man, the strain of suspense and effort had taken their toll. I had no sympathy to give him then, nor would he have wanted it. Scarcely pausing, he crawled toward the middle of the roof, where there was an opening little more than a foot square. A grille of rusted metal covered it, resting on a ledge or lip just below the surface of the roof. The bars were thick and close together.
Were the long days of suspense at an end? Was he within? Those final seconds before I reached the aperture seemed to stretch on interminably. But they were not the worst. That was yet to come.
The only other light in the foul den below came from a slit over the door. In the gloom of the opposite corner I saw a motionless form. I knew that form, I would have recognized it in darkest night, though I could not make out his features. My senses swam. Then a shaft of dying sunlight struck through the narrow opening and fell upon him. It was he! My prayers had been answered! But— oh, Heaven— had we come too late? Stiff and unmoving, he lay stretched out upon the filthy cot. The features might have been those of a waxen death mask, yellow and rigid. My straining eyes sought some sign of life, of breath . . . and found none.
But that was not the worst It was yet to come.
Yes, indeed, if I were to resort to contemptible devices of the sort the young person suggested, I could a tale unfold ... I refuse to insult the intelligence of my (as yet) hypothetical reader by doing so, however. I now resume my ordered narrative.
* * *
As I was saying: "What mad pursuits! What struggles to escape! What wild ecstasy!" Keats was speaking in quite another context, of course. However, I have been often pursued (sometimes madly) and struggled (successfully) to escape on more than one occasion. The last phrase is also appropriate, though I would not have put it quite that way myself.
Pursuits, struggles and the other sentiment referred to began in Egypt, where I encountered for the first time the ancient civilization that was to inspire my life's work, and the remarkable man who was to share it. Egyptology and Radcliffe Emerson! The two are inseparable, not only in my heart but in the estimation of the scholarly world It may be said— in fact, I have often said it—
that Emerson is Egyptology, the finest scholar of this or any other era. At the time of which I
write we stood on the threshold of a new century, and I did not doubt that Emerson would dominate the twentieth as he had the nineteenth. When I add that Emerson's physical attributes include sapphire-blue eyes, thick raven locks, and a form that is the epitome of manly strength and grace, I believe the sensitive reader will understand why our union had proved so thoroughly satisfactory.
Emerson dislikes his first name, for reasons which I have never entirely understood. I have never inquired into them because I myself prefer to address him by the appellation that indicates comradeship and equality, and that recalls fond memories of the days of our earliest acquaintance. Emerson also dislikes titles, his reasons for this prejudice stem from his radical social views, for he judges a man (and a woman, I hardly need add) by ability rather than worldly position. Unlike most archaeologists he refuses to respond to the fawning titles used by the fellahin toward foreigners, his admiring Egyptian workmen had honored him with the appellation of "Father of Curses," and I must say no man deserved it more.
My union with this admirable individual had resulted in a life particularly suited to my tastes. Emerson accepted me as a full partner professionally as well as matrimonially, and we spent the winter seasons excavating at various sites in Egypt. I may add that I was the only woman engaged in that activity— a sad commentary on the restricted condition of females in the late-nineteenth century of our era— and that I could never have done it without the wholehearted
cooperation of my remarkable spouse. Emerson did not so much insist upon my participation as take it for granted. (I took it for granted too, which may have contributed to Emerson's attitude.)
For some reason I have never been able to explain, our excavations were often interrupted by activities of a criminous nature. Murderers, animated mummies, and Master Criminals had interfered with us, we seemed to attract tomb-robbers and homicidally inclined individuals. All in all it had been a delightful existence, marred by only one minor flaw. That flaw was our son, Walter Peabody Emerson, known to friends and foes alike by his sobriquet of "Ramses."
All young boys are savages, this is an admitted fact. Ramses, whose nickname derived from a pharaoh as single-minded and arrogant as himself, had all the failings of his gender and age: an incredible attraction to dirt and dead, smelly objects, a superb disregard for his own survival, and utter contempt for the rules of civilized behavior. Certain characteristics unique to Ramses made him even more difficult to deal with. His intelligence was (not surprisingly) of a high order, but it exhibited itself in rather disconcerting ways. His Arabic was of appalling fluency (how he kept coming up with words like those I cannot imagine, he certainly never heard them from me), his knowledge of hieroglyphic Egyptian was as great as that of many adult scholars, and he had an almost uncanny ability to communicate with animals of all species (except the human). He . . . But to describe the eccentricities of Ramses would tax even my literary skill.
In the year preceding the present narrative, Ramses had shown signs of improvement. He no longer rushed headlong into danger, and his atrocious loquacity had diminished somewhat. A certain resemblance to his handsome sire was beginning to emerge, though his coloring more resembled that of an ancient Egyptian than a young English lad. (I cannot account for this any more than I can account for our constant encounters with the criminal element. Some things are beyond the comprehension of our limited senses, and probably that is just as well.) A recent development had had a profound though as yet undetermined effect on my son. Our latest and perhaps most remarkable adventure had occurred the previous winter, when an appeal for help from an old friend of Emerson's had led us into the western deserts of Nubia to a remote oasis where the dying remnants of the ancient Meroitic civilization yet lingered. We encountered the usual catastrophes— near death by thirst after the demise of our last camel, attempted
kidnapping and violent assaults— nothing out of the ordinary, and when we reached our
destination we found that those whom we had come to save were no more. The unfortunate couple had left a child, however— a young girl whom, with the aid of her chivalrous and princely foster brother, we were able to save from the hideous fate that threatened her. Her deceased father had called her "Nefret," most appropriately, for the ancient Egyptian word means "beautiful." The first sight of her struck Ramses dumb— a condition I never expected to see—
and he had remained in that condition ever since I could only regard this with the direst of forebodings. Ramses was ten years old, Nefret was thirteen, but the difference in their ages would be inconsequential when they reached adulthood, and I knew my son too well to dismiss
his sentiments as juvenile romanticism. His emotions were intense, his character (to put it mildly) determined. Once he got an idea into his head, it was fixed in cement. He had been raised among Egyptians, who mature earlier, physically and emotionally, than the cold English, some of his friends had fathered children by the time they reached their teens. Add to this the dramatic circumstances under which he first set eyes on the girl . . .
We had not even known such an individual existed until we entered the barren, lamplit chamber where she awaited us. To see her there in all her radiant youth, with her red-gold hair streaming down over her filmy white robes, to behold the brave smile that defied the dangers that surrounded her . . . Well. Even I had been deeply affected.
We had brought the girl back to England with us and taken her into our home. This was Emerson's idea.
I must admit we had very little choice, her grandfather, her only surviving relative, was a man so steeped in vice as to be an unfit guardian for a cat, much less an innocent young girl. How Emerson persuaded Lord Blacktower to relinquish her I did not inquire. I doubt that "persuaded" is an appropriate word. Blacktower was dying (indeed, he completed the process a few months later), or even Emerson's considerable powers of eloquence might not have prevailed. Nefret clung to us— figuratively speaking, for she was not a demonstrative child— as the only familiar
objects in a world as alien to her as Martian society (assuming such exists) would be to me. All she knew of the modern world she had learned from us and from her father's books, and in that world she was not High Priestess of Isis, the incarnation of the goddess, but something less—
not even a woman, which Heaven knows was low enough, but a girl-child, a little higher than a pet and considerably lower than a male of any age. As Emerson did not need to point out (though he did so in wearying detail), we were peculiarly equipped to deal with a young person raised in such extraordinary circumstances
Emerson is a remarkable man, but he is a man. I need say no more, I believe Having made his decision and persuaded me to accept it, he admitted to no forebodings. Emerson never admits to having forebodings, and he becomes incensed when I mention mine. In this case I had a good number of them.
One subject of considerable concern was how we were to explain where Nefret had been for the past thirteen years. At least it concerned me. Emerson tried to dismiss the subject as he does other difficulties "Why should we explain anything? If anyone has the impertinence to ask, tell them to go to the devil."
Fortunately Emerson is more sensible than he often sounds, and even before we left Egypt he was forced to admit that we had to concoct a story of some kind Our reappearance out of the desert with a young girl of obviously English parentage would have attracted the curiosity of the dullest, her real identity had to be admitted if she was to claim her rightful position as heiress to her grandfather's fortune. The story contained all the features journalists dote on— youthful
beauty, mystery, aristocracy, and great amounts of money— and, as I pointed out to Emerson,
our own activities had not infrequently attracted the attentions of the jackals of the press, as he was pleased to call them.
I prefer to tell the truth whenever possible. Not only is honesty enjoined upon us by the superior moral code of our society, but it is much easier to stick to the facts than remain consistent in falsehood.
In this case the truth was not possible. Upon leaving the Lost Oasis (or the City of the Holy Mountain, as its citizens called it), we had sworn to keep not only its location but its very existence a secret. The people of that dying civilization were few in number and unacquainted with firearms, they would have been easy prey for adventurers and treasure hunters, not to mention unscrupulous archaeologists. There was also the less imperative but nonetheless important question of Nefret's reputation to be considered. If it were known that she had been reared among so-called primitive peoples, where she had been the high priestess of a pagan goddess, the rude speculation and unseemly jests such ideas inspire in the ignorant would have made her life unbearable. No, the true facts could not be made public. It was necessary to invent a convincing lie, and when forced to depart from my usual standards of candor, I can
invent as good a lie as anyone.
Luckily the historical events then ensuing provided us with a reasonable rationale. The Mahdist rebellion in the Sudan, which began in 1881 and had kept that unhappy country in a state of turmoil for over a decade, was ending Egyptian troops (led, of course, by British officers) had reconquered most of the lost territory, and some persons who had been given up for lost had miraculously reappeared The escape of Slatin Pasha, formerly Slatin Bey, was perhaps the most astonishing example of well-nigh miraculous survival, but there were others, including that of Father Ohrwalder and two of the nuns of his mission, who had endured seven years of slavery and torture before making good their escape.
It was this last case that gave me the idea of inventing a family of kindly missionaries as foster parents for Nefret, both of whose real parents (I explained) had perished of disease and hardship shortly after their arrival. Protected by their loyal converts, the kindly religious persons had escaped the ravages of the dervishes but had not dared leave the security of their remote and humble village while the country was so disturbed.
Emerson remarked that in his experience loyal converts were usually the first to pop their spiritual leaders into the cook pot, but I thought it a most convincing fabrication and so, to judge by the results, did the press. I had stuck to the truth whenever I could— a paramount rule when
one concocts a fictional fabrication— and there was no need to falsify the details of the desert
journey itself. Stranded in the empty waste, abandoned by our servants, our camels dead or dying ... It was a dramatic story, and, I believe, distracted the press to such an extent that they did not question other more important details. I threw in a sandstorm and an attack by wandering Bedouin for good measure.
The one journalist I feared most we managed to elude. Kevin O'Connell, the brash young star reporter of the Daily Yell, was on his way to the Sudan even as we left it, for the campaign was proceeding apace and the recapture of Khartoum was expected at any time. I was fond of Kevin (Emerson was not), but when his journalistic instincts were in the ascendancy I would not have trusted him any farther than I could have thrown him.
So that was all right. The biggest difficulty was Nefret herself.
I would be the first to admit that I am not a maternal woman. I venture to remark, however, that the Divine Mother herself might have found her maternal instincts weakened by prolonged exposure to my son. Ten years of Ramses had convinced me that my inability to have more children was not, as I had first viewed it, a sad disappointment, but rather a kindly disposition of all-knowing Providence. One Ramses was enough Two or more would have finished me.
(I understand that there has been a certain amount of impertinent speculation regarding the fact that Ramses is an only child. I will only say that his birth resulted in certain complications which I will not describe in detail, since they are no one's business but my own.)
Now I found myself with another child on my hands, not a malleable infant but a girl on the threshold of womanhood, and one whose background was even more unusual than that of my catastrophically precocious son. What on earth was I to do with her? How could I teach her the social graces, and complete the enormous gaps in her education that would be necessary if she was to find happiness in her new life?
Most women, I daresay, would have sent her off to school. But I hope I know my duty when it is forced upon me. It would have been cruelty of the most exquisite variety to consign Nefret to the narrow female world of a boarding school. I was better equipped to deal with her than any teacher, because I understood the world from which she had come and because I shared her contempt for the absurd standards the so-called civilized world imposes on the female sex. And ... I rather liked the girl.
If I were not an honest woman, I would say I loved her. No doubt that is how I ought to have felt. She had qualities any woman would wish in a daughter— sweetness of character, intelligence,
honesty, and, of course, extraordinary beauty. This quality, which many in society would rank
first, does not count so high with me, but I appreciated it.
Hers was the style of looks I had always envied. It is so unlike my own. My hair is black and coarse. Hers flowed like a river of gold. Her skin was creamy fair, her eyes cornflower-blue. Mine . . . are not. Her slim little figure would probably never develop the protuberances that mark my own. Emerson had always insisted these characteristics of mine pleased him, but I noted how appreciatively his eyes followed Nefret's dainty form.
We had returned to England in April and settled down at Amarna House, our home in Kent, as usual. Not quite as usual, though, normally we would have set to work immediately on our annual excavation reports, for Emerson prided himself on publishing them as soon as possible. This year we would have less to write about than usual, for our expedition into the desert had occupied most of the winter season. However, after our return to Nubia we had put in several productive weeks in the pyramid fields of Napata. (In which activity, I must add, Nefret had been a great help. She showed a considerable aptitude for archaeology.)
I was unable to assist Emerson as I usually did. I am sure I need not explain why I was distracted. This placed a considerable burden on Emerson, but for once he did not complain, waving aside my apologies with (ominous) good nature. "It is quite all right, Peabody, the child's needs come first. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help." This uncharacteristic affability, and the use of my maiden name— which Emerson employs when he is feeling
particularly affectionate or when he wishes to persuade me into some course of action to which I am opposed— aroused the direst of suspicions.
"There is nothing you can do," I retorted. "What do men know of women's affairs?"
"Hmmm," said Emerson, retreating in haste to the library. I confess that I enjoyed fitting the girl out with a proper wardrobe. When we arrived in London she had hardly a stitch of clothing to her name, except for the brightly colored robes worn by Nubian women, and a few cheap ready-made garments I had purchased for her in Cairo. An interest in fashion, I believe, is not incompatible with intellectual ability equaling or exceeding that of any man, so I wallowed (the word, I hardly need say, is Emerson's) in tucked nightgowns and lace-trimmed petticoats, frilly unmentionables and ruffled blouses, in gloves and hats and pocket handkerchiefs, bathing costumes and cycling bloomers, wrappers and buttoned boots, and a rainbow assortment of satin sashes with matching ribbons.
I indulged in a few purchases for myself, since a winter in Egypt always has a deplorable effect on my wardrobe. The styles in vogue that year were less ridiculous than in the past, bustles were gone, the balloon sleeves of the past had shrunk to a reasonable size, and skirts were soft and trailing instead of bunched up over layers of petticoats. They were particularly suited to persons who did not require "artificial additions" to assist in delineating certain areas of the body.
At least I thought the styles were less ridiculous until I heard Nefret's comments on them. The very idea of a bathing costume struck her as hilarious. "What is the point of putting on clothes that will get soaking wet?" she inquired (with some reason, I had to admit). "Do women here wear washing costumes when they take a bath?" As for her remarks on the subject of underdrawers . . . Fortunately she did not address them to the clerk, or to Emerson and Ramses. (At least I hope she did not. Emerson is easily embarrassed by such matters— and Ramses is
never embarrassed by anything.)
She fit into our household better than I had expected, for all our servants have become more or less accustomed to eccentric visitors. (Either they become accustomed or they leave our service, usually at their own request.) Gargery, our butler, succumbed at once to her charm, he followed her as devotedly as did Ramses, and never tired of hearing the (revised) story of how we had found her. Gargery is, I am sorry to say, a romantic person. (Romanticism is not a quality I despise, but it is inconvenient in a butler.) His fists would clench and his eyes would flash as he declared (forgetting diction in his enthusiasm)," 'Ow I wish I could 'ave been with you, madam! I'd 'ave thrashed those treacherous servants and fought those beastly Bedouins! I'd 'ave—"
"I am sure you would have been a great help, Gargery," I replied. "Another time, perhaps."
(Little did I know when that careless comment passed my lips that it was in the nature of prophecy!)
The only member of the household who did not fall victim to Nefret was dear Rose, our devoted housemaid. In Rose's case it was jealousy, pure and simple. She had helped raise Ramses and had a wholly unaccountable affection for him— an affection that was, or had been, reciprocated.
Now Ramses's offerings of flowers and interesting scientific specimens (weeds, bones, and mummified mice) were bestowed upon another. Rose felt it, I could see she did. I found Rose a great comfort whenever the combined adulation of the male members of the household got too much for me.
The cat Bastet was no comfort, though she was female. She had been somewhat slow to discover the attractions of the opposite sex, but she had made up for her delay with such enthusiasm that the place was overrun with her progeny. Her latest litter had been born in April, just before our arrival, and Nefret spent some of her happiest hours playing with the kittens. One of her responsibilities as High Priestess of Isis had been the care of the sacred cats, perhaps this explained not only her fondness for felines but her almost uncanny powers of communication with them. The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal— or even better,
as the superior it knows itself to be.
The only persons who knew Nefret's true story were Emerson's younger brother Walter and his wife, my dear friend Evelyn. It would have been impossible to conceal the truth from them even if we had not had complete confidence in their discretion, and indeed I counted on Evelyn to advise me in the proper care and rearing of a young female. She had had considerable experience, being the mother of six children, three of them girls, and she had the kindest heart in the world. I well remember one beautiful day in June, when we four adults sat on the terrace at Amarna House watching the children at play upon the lawn. The great Constable might have captured the idyllic beauty of the landscape— blue skies and fleecy white clouds, emerald grass
and stately trees— but the talents of quite another sort of painter would have been necessary to limn the laughing children who adorned the scene like living flowers. Sunlight turned their tossing curls to bright gold and lay caressingly on limbs pink and plump with health. My namesake, little Amelia, followed the toddling steps of her year-old sister with motherly care, Raddie, the eldest of Evelyn's brood, whose features were a youthful version of his father's gentle countenance, attempted to restrain the exuberance of the twins, who were tossing a ball back and forth. The image of innocent youth blessed with health, fortune, and tender love was one I will long cherish.
Yet I fancy mine were the only eyes fixed upon the charming figures of my nieces and nephews. Even their mother, whose youngest child lay sleeping on her breast, looked elsewhere.
Nefret sat apart, under one of the great oaks. Her legs were crossed and her bare feet peeped out from under the hem of her dress— one of the native Nubian garments in which I had clothed
her, for want of anything better, while we worked at Napata. The background color was a strident parrot-green, with great splashes of color— scarlet, mustard-yellow; turquoise-blue. A
braid of red-gold hair hung over one shoulder, and she was teasing the kitten in her lap with the end of it. Ramses, her inevitable shadow, squatted nearby. From time to time Nefret looked up, smiling as she watched the children's play, but Ramses's steady dark eyes never left her face.
Walter put his cup down and reached for the notebook he had refused to relinquish even upon this social occasion. Thumbing through it, he remarked, "I believe I see now how the function of the infinitival form has developed. I would like to ask Nefret— "
"Leave the child alone." It was Evelyn who interrupted her husband, her tone so sharp I turned to look at her in amazement. Evelyn never spoke sharply to anyone, much less to her husband, on whom she doted with (in my opinion) uncritical adoration.
Walter glanced at her in hurt surprise. "My dear, I only want— "
"We know what you want," Emerson said with a laugh. "To be known and honored as the man who deciphered ancient Meroitic. Encountering a living speaker of that supposedly dead language is enough to turn the brain of any scholar."
"She is a human Rosetta Stone," Walter murmured. "Certainly the language has changed almost beyond recognition over a thousand years, but to a trained scholar the clues she can offer— "
"She is not a stone," Evelyn said. "She is a young girl."
A second interruption! It was unheard of. Emerson stared at Evelyn in surprise and some admiration, he had always considered her deplorably mild-tempered. Walter gulped, and then said meekly, "You are quite right, my dear Evelyn. Not for the world would I ever do anything to— "
"Then go away," said his wife. "Go to the library, both of you, and immerse yourselves in dead languages and dusty books. That is all you care about, you men!"
"Come along, Walter." Emerson rose. "We are in disgrace and may as well spare ourselves the trouble of self-defense. A woman convinced against her will— "
I threw a muffin at him. He caught it neatly in midair, grinned, and walked off, trailed unwillingly by Walter.
"I do beg your pardon, Amelia," Evelyn said. "If I have put Radcliffe in a bad humor . . ."
"Nonsense, your criticism was much milder than the sort he is accustomed to receive from me. As for being in a bad humor, have you ever seen him more pleased with himself, more cursedly complacent, more infuriatingly good-natured?"
"Most women would not find that a source of complaint," Evelyn said, smiling.
"It is not the Emerson I know. Why, Evelyn, he has not used bad language— not a single,
solitary 'damnation!'— since we returned from Egypt." Evelyn laughed,I went on in mounting indignation, "The truth is, he simply refuses to admit that we have a serious problem on our hands."
"Or rather, under the oak tree." Evelyn's smile faded as she contemplated the girl's graceful figure. The kitten had wandered off and Nefret sat perfectly still, her hands in her lap, looking out across the lawn. Sunlight sifting through the leaves struck sparks from her hair, and the diffusion of light made her look as if she were enclosed in a golden shadow.
"She is as remote and beautiful as a young goddess," Evelyn said softly, echoing my own thought. "What is to become of such a girl?"
"She is willing and intelligent, she will adjust," I said firmly. "And she seems happy enough. She has not complained."
"She has learned fortitude in a hard school, I fancy. But then, my dear Amelia, she has little to complain of so far. You have— quite rightly, in my opinion— kept her relatively sheltered from
the outside world. All of us accept her and love her as she is. Sooner or later, however, she must take her rightful place in the world that is hers by birth, and that world is pitilessly intolerant of anything different"
"Do you suppose I am unaware of that?" I said, adding with a laugh, "There are some individuals who actually consider ME eccentric. I pay no attention to them, of course, but . . . well, I admit I have wondered if I am the best possible mentor for Nefret."
"She could not do better than emulate you," Evelyn said warmly. "And you know you can count on me to help in any way I can."
"We shall get on all right, I expect," I said, my natural optimism reasserting itself. "After all, I survived ten years of Ramses. With your help, and that of Walter . . . You were perhaps a little hard on him, dearest Evelyn. The decipherment of ancient unknown languages is not only his profession but his most passionate interest. Next to you, of course— and the children . . ."
"I wonder." Evelyn looked like a Raphael Madonna, golden-haired and sweet-faced, with the babe cradled in her arms, but her voice held a note I had never heard in it before. "How strangely the years change us, Amelia ... I dreamed last night of Amarna."
It was the last thing I ever expected to hear her say, and it had the oddest effect on me. An image flashed across my eyes, so vivid that it replaced reality: a scene of baking desert sands and frowning cliffs, as empty of life as a lunar landscape. I could almost feel the hot dry air against my skin, I seemed to hear again the ghastly moaning cries of the apparition that had threatened our lives and sanity. . . .
With an effort I shook off this seductive image. Unaware of my distraction, Evelyn had gone on speaking. "Do you remember how he looked that day, Amelia— the day he first declared his
love? Pale and handsome as a young god, holding my hands in his as he called me the loveliest and most courageous of women? No crumbling papyrus or Rosetta Stone would have replaced me in his heart then. Danger, doubt, and discomfort notwithstanding, those were wonderful days! I even find myself thinking fondly of that wretched man and his absurd mummy costume."
I sighed deeply. Evelyn looked at me in surprise. "You too, Amelia? What can you possibly regret? You have gained everything and lost nothing. I can hardly pick up a newspaper without finding an account of some new escapade— pardon me, adventure— of yours."
"Oh, adventures." I gestured dismissively. "It is only natural they should occur. Emerson attracts them."
"Emerson?" Evelyn smiled.
"Only consider, Evelyn It was to Emerson Lord Blacktower appealed for assistance in locating his missing son, Emerson who unmasked the criminal in the case of the British Museum mummy. To whom else would Lady Baskerville come when seeking a man to continue her husband's excavations, but to Emerson, the most preeminent scholar of his time?"
"I never thought of it that way," Evelyn admitted. "You have a point, Amelia. But you have only strengthened my argument. Your life is so full of the excitement and adventure mine lacks—"
"True. But it is not the same, Evelyn. Dare I confess it? I believe I do. Like you, I often dream of those long-gone days, when I was all-in-all to Emerson, the only, the supreme object of his devotion."
"My dear Amelia— "
I sighed again. "He hardly ever calls me Amelia, Evelyn. How well, how tenderly, I remember his snarl when he addressed me by that name. It is always Peabody now— my dear Peabody, my
darling Peabody . . ."
"He called you Peabody at Amarna," Evelyn said.
"Yes, but in such a different tone! What began as a challenge has now become a term of complacent, lazy affection. He was so masterful then, so romantic— "
"Romantic?" Evelyn repeated doubtfully.
"You have your fond memories, Evelyn, I have mine. How well I remember the curl of his handsome lips when he said to me, 'You are no fool, Peabody, if you are a woman', how his
blue eyes blazed on that never to be forgotten morning after I had nursed him through the crisis of his fever, and he growled, 'Consider yourself thanked for saving my life. Now go away.'" I fumbled for a handkerchief. "Oh, dear. Forgive me, Evelyn. I had not meant to succumb to emotion."
In sympathetic silence she patted one hand, while I applied the handkerchief to my eyes with the other. The mood was passing, a shriek from Willie and an answering shriek from his twin brother betokened one of the rough-and-tumble encounters that characterized their affectionate relationship. Raddie rushed to break up the fight and staggered back, holding a hand to his nose. Simultaneously Evelyn and I sighed.
"Never believe that I repine," she said gently. "I would not exchange one curl on Willie's head for a return to that life. I love my children dearly. Only— only, dear Amelia— there are so many of
"Yes," I said forlornly. "There are."
Ramses had moved closer to Nefret. The image was irresistible and unnerving: the goddess and her high priest
And they would be with me, day and night, summer and winter, in Egypt and in England, for years to come.
"One may be determined to embrace martyrdom gracefully,
but a day of reprieve is not to be sneezed at."
I believe in the efficacy of prayer.
As a Christian woman I am obliged to do so. As a rationalist as well as a Christian (the two are not necessarily incompatible, whatever Emerson may say), I do not believe that the Almighty takes a direct interest in my personal affairs. He has too many other people to worry about, most of them in far greater need of assistance than I.
Yet almost could I believe, on a certain afternoon a few months after the conversation I have described, that a benevolent Being had intervened to answer the prayer I had not dared frame even in my most secret thoughts.
I stood, as I had done so many times before, at the rail of the steamer, straining my eyes for the first glimpse of the Egyptian coast. Once again Emerson was at my side, as eager as I to begin another season of excavation. But for the first time in oh! so many years, we were alone.
Alone! I do not count the crew or the other passengers. We were ALONE. Ramses was not with us. Not risking life and limb trying to climb onto the rail, not with the crew, inciting them to mutiny, not in his cabin concocting dynamite. He was not on the boat, he was in England, and we ... were not. I had never dreamed it would come to pass. I had not ventured to hope, much less pray, for such bliss.