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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 89-94 | Added on Thursday, June 25, 2009, 01:48 AM
Together, these character traits will enable your talents and abilities to bring you the results that you know you should be getting, but sometimes haven‘t. You will learn about the kind of character that: 1. Creates
and maintains trust 2. Is able to see and face reality 3. Works in a way that brings results 4. Embraces negative realities and solves them 5. Causes growth and increase 6. Achieves transcendence and meaning in life
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 157-61 | Added on Monday, June 22, 2009, 11:25 PM
I would tell them that the people who possess the first two abilities are a dime a dozen. There is no shortage of talented, brainy people who are very, very good at what they do and are able to work the system and schmooze other people to get things done. There are zillions of them, and we all see them every day. But if your boys are truly going to make it, they have to have the third ingredient as well: They have to have the character to not screw it up.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 190-97 | Added on Monday, June 22, 2009, 11:28 PM
But what I was really saying about character was much more than trying to have a moral safeguard against ―getting into trouble.‖ What I was saying was this: who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed. It is one‘s makeup as a person, in ways much more than ethics alone, that takes people to success or enables them to sustain it if they ever achieve it. While character includes our usual understanding of ethics and integrity, it is much more than that as well. Another way of putting it is that ethical functioning is a part of character, but not all of it. And it certainly is not all of what affects whether someone is successful or becomes a good leader.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 202-10 | Added on Monday, June 22, 2009, 11:30 PM
While they met the criteria for having ―integrity,‖ they also left behind a trail of falling short in some key areas of performance that left them, as well as their stakeholders and the people who depend on them, wanting more. They were unable to successfully: Gain the complete trust of the people they were leading, and capture their full hearts and following. See all of the realities that were right in front of them. They had blind spots regarding themselves, others, or even the markets, customers, projects, opportunities, or other external realities that kept them from reaching their goals. Work in a way that actually produced the outcomes that they should have produced, given their abilities and resources. Deal with problem people, negative situations, obstacles, failures, setbacks, and losses. Create growth in their organization, their people, themselves, their profits, or their industry. Transcend their own interests and give themselves to larger purposes, thus becoming part of a larger mission.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 217-19 | Added on Monday, June 22, 2009, 11:31 PM
He had a lot of integrity and would never have lied to anyone. But, he also could not face the reality of losing something he was very invested in, as all leaders must be able to do from time to time in order to regroup, recover, and succeed. That is about character.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 225-29 | Added on Monday, June 22, 2009, 11:33 PM
We will look at a way of thinking about character and its components that if applied, can help you, those you work with, and your organization to avoid the three pitfalls that these issues cause: 1. Hitting a performance ceiling that is much lower than one‘s aptitude 2. Hitting an obstacle or situation that derails
you 3. Reaching great success only to self-destruct and lose it all
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 298-300 | Added on Monday, June 22, 2009, 11:39 PM
When a person travels through a few years with an organization, or with a partnership, or any other kind of working association, he leaves a ―wake‖ behind in these two areas, task and relationship: What did he accomplish and how did he deal with people? And we can tell a lot about that person from the nature of the wake.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 402-4 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:25 PM
Thus, the definition that I will be working from for the purposes of this book is this: Character = the ability to meet the demands of reality.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 415-19 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:28 PM
On the task side, the reality demands are ever present also. Think of the realities that make demands on the metal of your character: You have put your lifeblood into a project for months, you get the first numbers back, and they are bad. What happens inside? Some people proactively wrap their arms around the situation, get energized, become clearheaded, get to work, and have all their capacities available to them. They turn it around. They meet the demand of the reality of bad numbers staring them in the face. They deliver. But other people go into a black hole, feel like a loser, get afraid, get mean, panic, stall out, or retreat. The bad numbers do them in.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 432-35 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:29 PM
When I was discussing this book with someone whose husband is the CEO of a huge public corporation, she said, ―This is so important. It is never the business issues that cause David stress. He loves those. It is always a problem that was caused by a person. It is always the personal side that creates the problems, the stress, or messes up the goals.‖ That is about someone who deals with billions of dollars and yet sees the
character issues as the real stressors.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 473-77 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:33 PM
―I did not invest in those businesses. I invested in the people. I never invest in businesses I don‘t know
anything about, but I will invest in a person. If I know their character, their history, how they operate, what kind of judgment they have, what kind of risks are acceptable to them, how they execute, and things like that, and I know them well, I will invest. But I don‘t go buy businesses I don‘t know anything about.‖
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
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- Highlight Loc. 490-503 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:35 PM
Integrity is character, ethics, and morals. But it is also more, as even the Oxford Dictionary and the history of the word integrity itself tells us. Listen to the definitions as Oxford Dictionary (or whoever) lists them: 1. The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. ―He is
known to be a man of integrity.‖ (This is the first aspect we talk about and need when thinking of character. But, there is more.) 2. The state of being whole and undivided: ―upholding territorial integrity and national sovereignty.‖ 3. The condition of bring unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction. ―The structural integrity of the novel.‖ 4. Internal consistency or lack of corruption in electronic data. And, the origins of the word we can see in the French and Latin meanings of intact, integrate, integral, and entirety. The concept means that the ―whole thing is working well, undivided, integrated, intact, and uncorrupted.‖ When we are talking about integrity, we are talking about being a whole person, an integrated person, with all of our different parts working well and delivering the functions that they were designed to deliver. It is about wholeness and effectiveness as people. It truly is ―running on all cylinders.‖
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 522-25 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:38 PM
Bottom line: the character issues will affect the one or two things you do well, forgetting any need to do the rest. Another way of saying this is that while you don‘t need all the gifts that exist in the world, you
do need all the aspects of character while you are putting your gifts to work.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 532-40 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:40 PM
So, the concept of integrity being about needing wholeness in all areas of character does not negate the reality that we are not gifted in all areas, nor the reality that we do best when we are working within our gifts. What it does say is that if we do not have integrity of character, wholeness of character functioning in the ways that we will describe it, then our ability to capitalize on our strengths will be severely affected. In the last chapter, there is no doubt that Rick was working in his area of giftedness, which was sales. But, a lack of wholeness in character integrity, not his gifted area, did him in. We need our gifts, but without wholeness of character—integrity as we are calling it—our gifts will become unusable or at least less
fruitful. You can be the best designer in the world, but if no one will talk to you, or you can‘t complete a
proposal on time, you will be designing the inside of Dumpsters. You still have to be able to ―deliver the goods‖ no matter what your level of giftedness. So, let‘s see what this character looks like that is able to deliver the goods, to ―meet the demands of reality,‖ or, to be a person of ―integrity.‖
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 551-57 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:41 PM
Let‘s now look at what those aspects of character are: 1. The ability to connect authentically (which leads
to trust) 2. The ability to be oriented toward the truth (which leads to finding and operating in reality) 3. The ability to work in a way that gets results and finishes well (which leads to reaching goals, profits, or the mission) 4. The ability to embrace, engage, and deal with the negative (which leads to ending problems, resolving them, or transforming them) 5. The ability to be oriented toward growth (which leads to increase) 6. The ability to be transcendent (which leads to enlargement of the bigger picture and oneself )
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 578-80 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:44 PM
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The reason is that the opposite of integration is compartmentalization. That means that a part of oneself can be operating without the benefit of other parts, and that spells trouble.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 601-10 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 06:47 PM
Besides our just not closing the gap between where we are and where we should be, a bigger problem can occur when we lack character integrity. The bigger problem is that we become ―dysfunctional‖ in the truest sense of the word. With all the talk in the last years about dysfunctional families, management teams, people, and the like, it might be good to define what I mean by the term. I do not mean imperfection, or that you make mistakes, or that you have areas of immaturity, weaknesses, or flaws. Those things just mean that you are human. That is the ―gap.‖ Imperfection is normal, expected, and even
exciting and fun to deal with and work on. Getting better and growing is fun. What I mean by dysfunctional is something way worse than the natural need to be or do better. Dysfunctional as I use it means that not only is someone imperfect in some ability, but the actual exertion of effort in that area causes more problems, or a greater gap, than it solves. In other words, it would have been better if people had not tried, because the end result is worse than where they started.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 744-47 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:01 PM
Although he was a caring person, he was unable to connect with what people were really thinking, feeling, and experiencing. As a result, as much as he cared, they often did not experience that he really understood and often felt that he just missed them altogether. He could be nice and cheer everyone up, but he did not tune in to what people were experiencing, feeling, thinking, in a way that made them feel that he had heard their hearts.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 775-77 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:03 PM
And people are not going to get in the car with someone they don‘t trust or don‘t feel understands them.
We trust people who we think hear us, understand us, and are able to empathize with our realities as well as their own. That is why the abilities to connect and trust are so intertwined.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 787-93 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:06 PM
Will is an interesting term. We usually think of it in terms of volition and choice. ―Will you do something?‖ is asking if you would choose to do a particular thing. But, in another sense, for example in Greek, will means to ―desire‖ or ―delight‖ in something. If you ―will it,‖ then it is what you truly want. Anyone who has ever tried to depend on ―willpower,‖ for example, to stop doing something he or she truly desired has seen which one wins out in the end. ―Willpower‖ and just trying to make good choices cannot compete with the true desire of the heart, for that is where the passion is. You will not lose weight, for example, until your deepest desire is to get healthy. The heart is always stronger than mere ―willpower.‖
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 813-19 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:08 PM
This is about more than being ―nice.‖ All leadership or success literature will tell you that you have to be nice and not a jerk. People actually do research on topics like that too. They have proven that mean,
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antagonistic, and adversarial leaders or bosses do not build thriving cultures or people. Imagine that. Who funded that research? The bigger questions have more to do with why the seemingly ―good guys‖ don‘t
do well. Why do the ―nice couples‖ get divorced? Why do the ―loving parents‖ have kids that go sideways and join countercultures? Why can‘t some really nice leaders capture the hearts of their people? It is sometimes because when it comes to human behavior, being nice is not enough. We have to be connected with, and that is a whole different dimension of character. What is that dimension? ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 824-27 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:09 PM
Detachment is about not crossing the space to actually enter into another person‘s world through the curiosity and desire to know them, to understand them, to be ―with‖ them, to be present with them, and ultimately to care for them. Sadly, a lot of loving and nice people are detached in this way, and their relationships suffer for it.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 848-51 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:11 PM
In work, in marriage, in parenting, in friendship, in business, connection happens when one person has a true emotional investment in the other, and the other person experiences that and it is returned. To do that requires the character that gets out of oneself long enough to know, experience, and value the ―other.‖
And, as we will see, it has to be done in a way that the ―other‖ can experience it.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 855-58 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:17 PM
If we look at our leader who didn‘t make it, what was he lacking? In a word, empathy. Empathy is the
ability to enter into another person‘s experience and connect with it in such a way that you actually experience to some degree what the other person is experiencing. It is ―as if‖ you are that other person, at least for a moment. Empathy comes from the Greek words meaning ―in‖ and ―feeling.‖ It is as if you are ―in the feeling‖ of the other.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 878-81 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:21 PM
Third, and somewhat the sine qua non of empathy, is the ability to listen in a way that communicates understanding. When we listen, we hear. And it may be that we understand. But, if we cannot communicate our listening in a way that lets the other person know we have truly understood, empathy has not occurred. There is no connection.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 885-87 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:22 PM
True listening and understanding occurs only when the other person understands that you understand. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 899-903 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:24 PM
They talk ? you experience them ? you share what you have heard and experienced about their experience ? then they experience you as having heard them. They then know you are ―with them.‖ When it is communicated to them like that, then not only did you hear and understand, but the other
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person understands that you under stand, and the connection has occurred. It does not occur, and the other person‘s heart has not joined you, until that loop has happened. That takes an open and caring heart on your part.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 928-31 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:27 PM
If entering into another person‘s reality, validating it, and treating it with respect builds connection, what destroys it? The exact opposite: invalidation. Invalidation occurs when a person‘s experience is all that
exists to him or her. And he or she then moves to negate the other person‘s experience, treating it as somehow not real or nonexistent.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 984-86 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:33 PM
That is why people who try to help others by talking them out of what they feel are usually no help at all. It is also the reason why research has for decades proven that you can help desperate people immensely by giving them no answers at all, and only giving them empathy.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1030-32 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 07:58 PM
And this is the danger that nonconnectors do not get: The human heart will seek to be known, understood, and connected with above all else. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1042-44 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:00 PM
But in these scenarios, because people are not listened to, they often emerge as the poor ―victim‖ of the nonconnecting leader, and others are glad to rescue them from such a terrible person. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1086-88 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:04 PM
Connecting with others in a way that makes them feel understood and valued is key to life and the basis of building trust and loyalty. From that base, everything else works. To do that requires the kind of character that is oriented toward others and makes proactive connections with them in a way that builds bonds. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1126-29 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:09 PM
But, there is a much greater degree of trust in the person of a more complete integrity. It is the kind of trust that looks out for your interests, as well as his or her own. In other words, you are not in it alone. There is someone who is not only looking out for what is good for him, but what is good for you too. That goes past just ―win-win,‖ meaning that he will look out for you when it benefits him. It goes to looking out for you, period.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1129-36 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:09 PM
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One of the Hebrew words that means ―trust‖ has the association that I like most when thinking of what ―trust‖ actually means: To trust means to be careless. It means that you do not have to worry about how to ―take care‖ of yourself with that person, because he is going to be worried about that too. It means that
you do not have to ―guard‖ yourself with her, because she is going to be concerned with what is good for you and what is not good for you. You do not have to ―watch your back‖ with him, because he is going to
be watching it for you. So, if something comes up in the deal later that neither of you thought of, you know that the person on the other side of the table is going to be concerned for your interests as well as his own. He won‘t be a pushover and ignore what he needs, but he will have concern for you too, even
when he doesn‘t have to.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1190-95 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:15 PM
You can almost divide character‘s ability to trust and be trustworthy into three categories, or stances. The
first is what we refer to as paranoid. This kind of person just doesn‘t see trust as an option and can do OK, as long as things are going well. But, these people typically do not extend themselves to others in the kinds of giving and vulnerability that we saw above, because they feel as if everyone will come back to get them. Somehow they will ―get screwed in the end,‖ they feel. ―No good turn goes unpunished‖ could be their motto, and when something goes wrong, they instantly get into retaliatory mode. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1219-25 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:18 PM
The truth is that it is difficult to trust someone based on the demand for mutual performance. If I can only trust you to be for me when I am doing well by you, then I am in trouble. Because the truth is that I will fail you in some way somewhere along the path, and at that moment I need you to help me, not turn against me. But if you are going to turn on me when I fail to do my part well, then I am always in fear and protection mode, thinking that I could lose your support at any juncture. Then we live not in trust, but in mutual fear. This is what is behind most international relations, and why they are so tenuous so often. They ―trust‖ and become ―allies,‖ but they fear also, as things could turn if one‘s interests are not satisfied. And the couple who live in that kind of treaty are always vulnerable to a ―better deal‖ coming along. The love is dependent on the other one gratifying him or her.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1239-45 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:21 PM
But of all these descriptions, my favorite word for this kind of character is grace. We are familiar with this term in many ways, from having a ―grace‖ period when we don‘t mail the check in on time, to hearing it in hymns or descriptions of exceptional people. The usage that I like the best is a theological one with the definition ―unmerited favor.‖ Grace is when we extend ―favor‖ to someone, not because they
have earned it in some way, but because we just possess it to give. It is a stance in life, a way of being. A ―person of grace‖ is one who does the things we have described above of being ―for‖ and not ―against,‖ and treating others in the way that she would want to be treated. It makes for ultimate trust. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1252-55 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:23 PM
A leader with grace realizes that to reach the high standards she sets for her people may require that she provide coaching or training or encouragement or other resources to help them get there. They did not ―earn‖ those things, and they are ―unmerited.‖ But, they serve to help them to reach the standard that is
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there. Leaders without grace set the demand and do nothing to help people meet it. Then, when they don‘t, they turn on them as adversaries.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1266-69 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:25 PM
Integrity, the kind that meets the demands of reality, is character that can handle another person‘s not being all someone needs that person to be. By moving as a positive force that is ―for‖ the other person‘s getting better, as opposed to moving against him or disengaging because he isn‘t, the person leverages
him to a higher level. As a result, these people do not get dragged down by other people‘s failures, but are a force of redemption in any situation, bringing it to a higher level.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1287-90 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:27 PM
We might fear someone of great power or even admire him, but trust is another issue. In this way, therefore, we see a tension in the dynamic of power and trust: Not enough power, and we can‘t entrust
things of value to the person. Too much power, and we can‘t feel that they could ever understand or relate to our own vulnerability.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1339-42 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:32 PM
The other aspect of this has to do with another process, called internalization. What that means is that we actually receive from other people what we do not possess in ourselves. Encourage literally came from ―in courage.‖ The courage is put ―into‖ you from the outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves. My mother literally ―gave me strength‖ as if through a transfusion.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1350-54 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:34 PM
Research shows that models who are followed, which ultimately means trusted, are models who have the following characteristics: 1. They possess strength. 2. They possess ―likeness‖ to the ones following them.
3. They are warm. 4. They are imperfect, and coping models, as opposed to perfect ones. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1393-96 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:38 PM
They are transparent in that they let the reality of where they are and the situations be known. We can only ultimately trust people who are being real with us. But part of that is transparency not just about the facts, but about themselves as well. We need to see their vulnerabilities, and how they are feeling about things. We also need to know about their failures, and times when they haven‘t gotten it right. That helps us to follow them.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1400-1403 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:39 PM
But, again, the balance is key. The tension between vulnerability and strength in leaders cannot be lost. If a leader or a parent is using those she is trying to lead as a primary support group, and drawing from them
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her own sustenance, then things are topsy-turvy. Vulnerability is good, but to lead, one must also not be dependent on those he is leading. That kind of dependency and healing must come from somewhere else. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1461-62 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:44 PM
In fact, truthfulness is really measured in terms of our tendency to tell it when it hurts in some way. People fudge or lie when there is a risk of some sort of loss or negative consequence. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1516-20 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:51 PM
One of my favorite sayings is, no matter how difficult it is to hear, Reality is always your friend. The reason is almost a truism: everything else is a fantasy. So, for us to get real results in the real world, we must be in touch with what is, not what we wish things were or think things should be or are led by others to believe they are. The only thing that is going to be real in the end is what is. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1604-7 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 08:59 PM
He had the humility to go in and not assume that he had it all figured out and instead to seek to find out what reality was. People who have an orientation to the truth seek it out. They look for it and do everything they can to find it so that they know where to stand, what steps to take, etc. They basically see reality as their best ally, so finding it becomes of utmost importance.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1624-25 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 09:01 PM
The opposite of actively seeking reality is avoidance. The person who avoids finding out what is true may be doing that for a variety of character reasons.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1640-45 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 09:04 PM
As Peter Drucker says: ―One constant theme is, therefore, the need for the decision maker in the individual enterprise to face up to reality and resist the temptation of what ‗everybody knows,‘ the temptations of the certainties, of yesterday, which are about to become the deleterious superstitions of tomorrow. To manage in turbulent times, therefore, means to face up to the new realities. It means starting with the question: ‗What is the world really like?‘ rather than with the assertions and assumptions that made sense only a few years ago‖ (PeterF. Drucker, The Daily Drucker [Harper Business 2004]).
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1654-57 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 09:05 PM
The good ones want to know the reality of who they are and are in tune with the fact that we do not see ourselves accurately. They ―seek‖ out this knowledge in a variety of ways. Some commission 360-degree
feedback projects to see how they are doing. Others submit themselves to a mentor, accountability group, therapist, or someone else who has a good view of them. But, when they do, they are not looking for flattery. They are looking for reality. They ask others to tell them what they see. ==========
Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
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- Highlight Loc. 1663-72 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 09:08 PM
But without knowing reality about ourselves, we often don‘t even know what those are. And knowing one‘s strengths and weaknesses can be the difference between success and failure. As Marcus
Buckingham and Donald Clifton, from the Gallup Organization, put it: You will excel only by maximizing your strengths, never by fixing your weaknesses. This is not the same as saying ―ignore your weaknesses.‖ The people we described did not ignore their weaknesses. Instead, they did something much more effective. They found ways to manage around their weaknesses, thereby freeing them up to hone their strengths to a sharper point. Each of them did this a little differently. Pam liberated herself by hiring an outside consultant to write the strategic plan. Bill Gates did something similar. He selected a partner, Steve Ballmer, to run the company, allowing him to return to software development and rediscover his strengths‘ path. Sherie, the dermatologist, simply stopped doing the kind of medicine that drained her. Paula, the magazine editor, turned down job offers (Buckingham and Clifton, Now, Discover Your Strengths[Free Press, 2001], pp. 26–27).
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1682-88 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 09:10 PM
As Shakespeare put it, ―The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool‖ (As You Like It). The fool is out of touch, not only with his own foolish parts, or ―weaknesses,‖ but also with
his strengths as well. The natural human tendency is to not face ourselves as we really are. But, the wise character does face himself or herself. Herein is the problem: If we delude ourselves, how then shall we see ourselves, since the ―observer‖ (us) is deluded? The answer is in this character trait of ―seeking‖ truth from the outside. The winners ask. They sometimes hire people to help them see it. They value feedback from others about themselves, knowing that they themselves have blind spots. Michael Dell had to hear it from others. From his perspective, he was shy. From theirs, he was aloof. But he won when he sought out information from the outside.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1706-12 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 09:12 PM
Second, we need the last 10 percent to be the best that we can be. I am convinced that one aspect of their huge success in reaching their goals has been to develop a culture of characters who desire to hear the last 10 percent. To do that requires character hunger for the truth. Not only negative, but positive and neutral truth as well. We will talk later about embracing the negative realities in chapter 10, and more about the character issues that get in the way. But the issue here is that character of integrity has a hungry seeking, an appetite, to know the truth about itself. And that has to come from reaching to outside sources and being open to hearing it.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1760-64 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 09:18 PM
We have seen the value of getting reality feedback from others in order to get a clear picture of ourselves. That is essential. Another feedback mechanism that we need is feedback about ourselves from ourselves. This is our ability to monitor our own thoughts, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, abilities, choices, values, desires, talents, and the like. It is one thing to drive safely when you look in the rearview mirror and there is a policeman. That is external feedback. It is another thing to drive safely when you are out on the road by yourself. That is maturity.
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Integrity (Henry, Cloud)
- Highlight Loc. 1779-83 | Added on Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 09:25 PM