Friendship is one of the greatest pleasures that people can enjoy； It is
very difficult to find a better definition of friendship； A true friend does
indeed find pleasure in our joy and share sorrow in our grief； In time of
trial; he or she is always at our side to give us his or her help and comfort
A life without a friend is a life without a sun. Friendship is one of the most important things in everyone's life. Friends are who changes your life just by being a part of it, who makes you believe that there really is good in the world, who convinces you that there really is an unlock door just waiting for you to open it. When you’re down, friends lift you up. When you lose your way, friends guide you and cheer you on.
Different lands, different friendships. Cultural difference has a great influence on friendship so that we should take more attention to dealing with friendship in different culture. In some cultures friendship means a strong life-long bond between two people. In these cultures friendships develop slowly, since they are built to last. But in other cultures friendship develop quickly and they may change just as quickly.
It’s quite natural for Americans to move their home to different places. Very few people live in just one place for a life long time. That is why the Americans are always ready to make new friends. They often drop a visit to their new neighbors. And friendship will be established during chatting,
taking an interested sports and small family parties. Americans are very independent. You'd better not so curious about their privacies such as the salary, diseases, and marital status. Because it’s none of your business.
If you try to find the privacy from an American, most probably, you will be regarded as immoral. Americans will be willing to help their friends. But most of the time, they hope that the helping would be concerning small things. It's maybe uncomfortable, even very strange, to shoulder much more so-called responsibilities for a friend. If your friend is an American student, never ask about his or her grades in school. It's not only because that American schools have no tradition to have a long remark list for all the students, but also, grades were a sort of privacy.
Because of learning a language professional, I often contact with many foreign teachers from North America, Australia and Western Europe. And some teachers are more correspondence and get along well. They often say, "We are good friends." However, the friendship has great understanding and attitude differences between China and western countries. Most of Chinese people hardly understand the concept of the so-called friends of western people. With China's opening up policy, more and more Western culture comes into China, and more people gradually learn what to ask, what not to say, to respect the privacy of friends, but due to the long cultural tradition of saturated ,the two sides
maintain the friendship for the practice vary widely.
For example, in our case, a person will very readily agree to accompany him to his friend's invitation to go shopping, even if he has some things to do on hand. Long-term shared between good friends through thick and thin will feel. Bare their secrets. In the Western view, you can completely let a friend with you to do something, but you do not expect him to be put down he was doing things like shopping to accompany you to do something that is not very urgent. Even very good friends should accept that the other said “no” as long as the other could
give reasons. During the independence is obvious. In the West, place of residence of the relocation, the replacement work, the end of school, marriage, change are likely to make deep friendships change. This suggests that their friendships are more established in dealings with each other on the regular. Once the frequent exchanges become scarce or stop, then their friendship will wither and die. This is our tradition the word 'if two conditions to a long time, a blessing in the day and night' far. More and more Chinese people hope that good friendship can last forever, until a lifetime. However, Westerners have a lot of time in a good friend, but this friendship is often the case with the specific conditions linked. If the situation changes, friends will change. They are more independent, not dependent. They do not like too much reliance on the other side. In China, we often see a person for others on a regular economic assistance, which
may be more in the West is seen as a sponsor to be dependence, does not conform to their personal quality of training for the principle. In China, my friends need to be more specific it is the help. Westerners bring a friend because even very small inconvenience and apologize to him. In very close relation friends also use very polite language. In our case, it is opposite. For example, friends do not say thanks with help. We all know the story about Yuboya and Zhongziqi ,it’s a typical example of friendship in China. Yuboya was good at playing guzheng and only Zhongziqi could understand what yuboya expressed in his music. And after Zhongziqi died , Yuboya was depressed and he destroyed his guzheng and never played it any more, because he thought no one in the world could know him. And we thus have the Chinese saying:高山流水
觅知音。From this story we can know that Chinese friendship implies loyalty, cordiality, sympathy and affection.
It is actually very simple that man's friendship is sincere ,firm and lasting friendship .And friendship among women is mixed with many other elements in inside. Seemingly two women are really in the exchanges, in fact there are other contents. As a beautiful woman and ugly woman stay together, a beautiful woman just shows her beauty.
Generally？in the aspect of friendship？Americans tend to care about their
friends as well as leave room for them. If you want help, he is absolutely
willing to help you but at the same time he maintains some distance so that it will not interfere with your inner thought and decisions, let alone to inquire about your privacy. However, if you want to borrow some money from your friends, it is probably impossible. And he will recommend you to borrow it from bank. The Americans have been characterized by being straightforward.
On the other side, the Chinese seem to show much concern for their friends so as one always intervenes other’s privacy. And it even
sometimes interferes with other’s decisions. Besides, the Chinese care too much about their face. If a friend asks to borrow some money, he is probably thinking that he has no choice but to lend even if he does not mean to it.
"Friendship" is a type of companionship that a human towards another human being or an organism can have. It's a bond in which one has a feeling towards another one. Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between people, or animals. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Anyway we should learn more about culture differences.
定稿日期 2011年10月 09日
Cultural Difference in Friendship
A Thesis Submitted to
The School of Binhai University
9th, October 2011
During the intercultural communication, many people are often confused with strange behaviors because of cultural differences in friendship. In this article , the author shows the different friendship in different culture, such as China ,America , hoping that it will help you understand and respect cultural differences in friendship.
Key words: cultural differences friendship
Different views on friendship
Xulisheng 许力生,ed. Intercultural Communication in English (Revised Edition) Shanghai Foreign Language Education Press Davis, l. Doing Culture: Cross-Cultural Communication in Action. Beijing，Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press,2001.