By Angela Flores,2014-06-28 12:43
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    Flying Booger's Half-Mind Hymnal



    "Delightfully disgusting, yet repulsive"

    Compiled by Paul "Flying Booger" Woodford

    May 2005 Edition


    The Half-Mind Hymnal is a songbook for Hash House Harriers. As such, it is guaranteed

    to offend – consider yourself warned.

    This is a work in progress. When I started this collection I knew about 100 songs; this

    edition contains more than 700. The Half-Mind Hymnal is dedicated to hashers and

    hashing. Special thanks to Zippy, Bollox, Beaver Bam Bam Balls, Ian Cumming, Sauer

    Krotch, Dum B.U.F, Mu-Sick, Neptunus, Sodbuster, Smoking Wiener, and several non-

    hashers: Derek Cashman, Ed Cray, and the cast of perverts who contribute to the Bawdy

    List ( Thanks also to the authors of hash songbooks and to the many

    individual hashers who contributed (and continue to contribute) songs to this collection.

    Finally, thanks to the pilots of the USAF and NATO fighter squadrons in the Second

    Allied Tactical Air Force who started me singing and taught me the basic repertoire.

    Without their inspiration this songbook wouldn't exist.


    Flying Booger

    Song Master at Large


    Note to Song Masters: A great way to get hashers singing, and to teach them new songs, is to periodically copy one or two songs from this book, make copies, hand them out at

    the hash, then lead the pack in singing. Personally, I think that's the best way to use this


    Note On Copyright: There is some copyrighted material in this songbook -- a few Monty Python songs, for example, that are popular with hashers. Please do not copy those, or

    tell anyone that I copied them! My own introductory comments, the way I organize the

    book, and the songs and poems I write myself are copyrighted, but you're welcome to

    share them with other hashers. Other than that, 90% of the material in this songbook is in

    the public domain -- it belongs to all of us, just as the Half-Mind Hymnal belongs to

    hashers everywhere.


Flying Booger's Half-Mind Hymnal

    Note On Melodies: Wherever possible, I've tried to name the melodies to the songs in this collection. If you have access to the Internet, go to the site at, look up the song you want the melody for,

    and listen to the sound file – this has got to be the greatest dirty song resource on the net!

    You can also look up scores and download sound files for many melodies at the Digital

    Tradition Mirror site at Additional melody

    sources are the main Digital Tradition site at and Zippy's on-line

    songbook at

    Request for Contributions: If you know songs you don't see here, or melodies to songs

    labeled "???" or "unknown," please send them to me for inclusion in future editions. I'll be

    happy to give you credit. My address is in the back.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------The Half-Mind Hymnal is arranged in the following categories:


    - Songs, chants, etc, to liven up the circle and down-downs


    - Songs celebrating specific Hash House Harrier kennels


    - Songs about hashing & hashers, what else?


    - "I put my finger in the woodpecker's hole . . ."


    - Poems, toasts, recitals, etc


    - "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours . . ."


    - Songs to get the pack movin' & shoutin'


    - Shocking, just shocking . . . the degradation of wymyn at its worst!


    - "With a yard-and-a-half of foreskin hangin' down below his knees . . ."


    - Celebrating drink & drinking (hic!)


    Flying Booger's Half-Mind Hymnal


    - Seasonal ditties & carolsHASH STANDARDS

    - Ah, there's nothing like the classics!


    - "Who can take a fetus . . ."SMOKING WIENER'S COCKY HASH SONGS- This guy's so prolific he gets his own section


    - The songs that got me started



    Air Force Song

    Amazing Beer

    An Dem Bier

    Army Song

    Aunt I High

    Autohash Song

    Battle Hymn of the Hasher

    Beery Bunch

    Birthday Songs

    Blessing of "G"

    Blessing of the Hares


    Does a Hasher

    Down Down Down Your Beer

    Down Down Ditty

    Dumb Shit

    Farewell Song

    Ft Eustis Down-Down Songs

    Hare Toast

    Hash Benediction

    Hash House Harriers

    Hasher's Prayer

    Hash Pledge of Allegiance

    Hash Rules

    Hashin' Brew

    Heineken, Schmeineken


    Flying Booger's Half-Mind HymnalHer Left Tit

    Here's to _______ (Basic Down-Down Song)

    Here's to Brother Hasher(s)He's a Born Again PisstankHe's a Hasher, He's OkayHe's the Meanest (two versions)He Wanks His Crank

    Hillary, Mary

    His One-Skin

    Ice the Bitch

    International Hash HymnIt’s a Small Dick

    Love Me Tender


    Meet the Hashers

    Mister Blue Balls

    Naming Ceremony

    No Blow Song

    Oh, Hashshit Boy

    Our Lager

    Park it on the Ice

    Piss Off, Ya Wank

    Returner's Song


    Shiggy Soggy

    Short Blessing

    Short Hymn

    Shortcutter's Song

    Sing, Sing a Song

    Sing a Song of Six ChecksSoldier Song

    Sound of Hashers

    Thank God She Finally Shut UpThe Hasher Pukes Tonight (Short Version)

    There was a Little BirdThey Ought to be Publicly Pissed On

    This Hasher’s Been Wanking Off Again

    This is Your Down-Down SongTired Hasher


    Virgin Serenade

    Visitor's Song

    War Hares

    Wedding Ceremonies

    Wedding Song

    We're Here Because . . .We've Got Virgins

    What a Wank


    Flying Booger's Half-Mind Hymnal

    Where Were You Last Week?

    Why Are We Waiting?

    Why Was He Born so Beautiful?

    Why was She Born a Bitch?

    Yankee Doodle

    You are Our ______

    Zicky-Zacky (expanded version)

    Zulu Warrior


    Melody - Alphabet Song

    By Fuk Stik & Flying Booger

    A, B, C, D, E, F, G,

    Won't you sing a song with me?

    Grab a beer and raise your cup, Lose that hat cuz it's bad luck, And when we say to drink it down, Finish that beer and make a crown.H, I, J, K, L-M-N-O-P.

    Better get ready 'cause the beer's flowin' free.

    Fill your vessel to the brim,

    Don't you wish you had some quim,Raise your beer mug to your lips,Get ready to take some dainty sips.Q, R, S and T-U-V, W and X-Y-Z,

    Now you're ready to make whoopee,Just remember this or you are dead,Never never ever say head (oh, shit)Head? Who said head? I'll take some of that, etc . . .


    Melody - Off We Go, Into the Wild Blue YonderContributed by Chimp Pimp, Osan Bulgogi HHHOff we go,

    Into the wild blue yonder.

    Crash and burn,


    Flying Booger's Half-Mind HymnalSon of a bitch!


    Melody – Amazing Grace

    Composed by Splat, East Bay HHHA - maz - ing beer,

    A taste profound,

    A whole keg just for thee!

    The pack is lost,

    But home you've found,

    The beer check you can see


    Melody – Ode to Joy

    Composed by Splat, East Bay HHHHow much beer has he been drinking?He is looking really lit.

    As we sing here aren't we thinking,"Do we really give a shit?"

    Who's this wanker, so unseemly,That his mom would surely frown?Grab that beer and hold it firmly,Drink it, drink it, down down down!ARMY SONG

    Melody - Be All That You Can BeContributed by Chimp Pimp, Osan Bulgogi HHH

    Be, all that you can be.

    Get a big fat wife,

    And a fucked up life,

    In the R-ME


    R-Me! R-Me! R-me! R-me! R-me! (running in place)

    R-Me training sir!

    How do you spell R-Me?

    R! Me! (point at self)


    Melody – High Hopes

    Contributed by Cannibis Licked Her, California Larrikins HHH


    Flying Booger's Half-Mind Hymnal

    Just what makes my little old aunt?

    Think she can smoke that cannabis plant.

    Everyone knows an aunt, can't, smoke a cannabis plantBut she has High Hopes

    Yes she getting High - folks

    So close your eyes before - my Aunt

    Drops Her Pants.

    Drink it down, down, down . . .


    Melody - Dear Lord, Won't You Buy Me a Mercedes-Benz (Janis Joplin)By Flying Booger

    (used to honor autohashers)

    (International version)

    Dear Lord, won't you give me a ride to the beer,

    My friends are all drinking, and I'm stuck out here,I'll ride in a lorry, rickshaw, or tuk tuk,

    If you drive me there I'll throw in a down, down, down, down . . .(USA version)

    Dear Lord, won't you give me a ride to the beer,

    My friends are all drinking, and I'm stuck out here,I'll ride in a Chevy, a Ford or a truck,

    If you drive me there I'll throw in a down, down, down, down . . .BATTLE HYMN OF THE HASHER

    Melody – Battle Hymn of the Republic

    Composed by Splat, East Bay HHH

    His eyes have seen the horror of the steepness of the trail,His ears have heard the whining of the whinging Hashers’ tale,His lips have felt the passing of this nation's finest ale,This Hasher's done it all!


    Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!

    Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!

    Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!

    Now drink it down, down, down!

    (for wearers of new shoes)

    His feet will feel the dampness of the clean footware he's wornHis soul will sense the shame and wish that he had not been bornAll of him will suffer pain like shiggy's sharpest thornThis Hasher's worn new shoes!


    Flying Booger's Half-Mind HymnalTHE BEERY BUNCH

    Melody - Brady Bunch ThemeBy Koresh, Las Vegas HHH

    Here's the story,

    Of a thirsty hasher,

    Who was running at the back of a pack.

    Every bad trail that there was,Well he found it.

    He must have ran for miles!It's the story,

    Of some sacred nectar,

    That was chilling with a mind of it's own.

    It was one beer,

    Sitting in the cooler,

    Yet it still had no foam.

    'Till the circle,

    When the hasher met the nectar.And he knewwww it just couldn't stick around.

    That's when his shorts went down around his ankles

    And the beer became a down down down down down!

    A down down down!

    A down down down!

    That's the waaaaayyyyyyy it became a down down down!




    Melody - Happy Birthday to YouHappy birthday, fuck you,

    Happy birthday, fuck you,

    Happy birthday, you asshole,Happy birthday, fuck you.

    Drink it down, down, down . . .______


    Melody - Happy Birthday to YouHappy birthday to you,

    Happy birthday to you,


    Flying Booger's Half-Mind Hymnal

    You look like a hasher,

    And you smell like one too.

    Drink it down, down, down . . .



    Melody – Happy Birthday to You

    Contributed by Mudrock, Las Vegas HHH

    May you live one hundred years

    May you drink one million beers

    Get plastered you bastard

    Happy Birthday to you.



    Melody - Here's to _____, He's a Blue

    Composed by Flying Booger for Scratch 'n' Sniff's 30th

    Here's to (name), she's true blue,

    It's her birthday, boo hoo hoo,

    She is (age) if she's a day,

    Wishes she were younger,

    But there's no way!

    Drink it down, down, down . . .



    Melody - Oliver!

    Composed by Bach 'n' Forth, Palm Beach HHH, in honor of Shortcake's 50th; included here on the off-chance it can be adapted for other hashers' birthdaysYou're 50 years old, Shortcakes.

    You've finally reached half of a century.

    We hope you've got what it takes . . . to stay . . . a-live till you're 51!Maybe it's time to take some respite from these trashing days; the end of your hashing

    days is near . . .

    Let's hope the Chester the Molester doesn't kill you first with that home-brew shit he calls


    You're 50 years old, Shortcakes.

    Here's wishing you lots of luck . . .

    And hoping that the future holds in store for you . . . 50 more years to fuck!



    Melody - The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You


Flying Booger's Half-Mind Hymnal

    Contributed by Zippy

    Your day of birth is now upon you,

    You're older by one day,

    Your day of birth is now upon you,

    And now you're gonna pay,

    The Hash is gonna lay it on you,

    You dirty bastard (bitchin') hound,

    Your day of birth is now upon you,

    Drink it down, down down down down



    Melody - Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Te-Aay

    Contributed by Nose Candy

    This is your birthday song,

    It isn't very long . . .

    Drink it down, down, down . . .


    Optional prayer offered by the religious advisor before the hash, from Shuttle Cock of the Houston HHH . . . should be performed in the style of a Catholic/Episcopal dismissalRA:The buzz which passes all understanding,

    Keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of hashing,

    And the Blessing of "G" all plastered:

    The Flour (make first slash of "X" in the air)

    The Sun (complete the "X" in the air)

    And the Short Cut that pays off (make circle around "X" in the air)

    Be among you and remain with you always.

    Go Forth to Love and Serve the Hash.Pack:Thanks be to "G!"


    Optional prayer offered by the religious advisor before the hash, with local embellishments. This version is from the Tampa HHH

    Bless these hares,

    Bless this trail,

    Coppus no catch us,

    Farmer no shoot us,

    Doggus no bite us,

    Heatus no stroke us,


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