thDecember 30, 2008
Love and Freedom
In a melodious clarinet concerto of Mozart, Karen started to tell her unusual life story, “I had a farm in Africa; I had a farm in Africa at the foot of Ngong hills…” There she fell in love with Denys, who wanted a relationship without any restriction. He didn’t understand or accept Karen’s emotional dependence on him, and considered it a lust for possession. “He even took the gramophone on safari. Three rifles,
supplies for a month, and Mozart.” Every time he left, Karen was filled with a
sense of loss. She made great efforts to keep Denys at her side, however, it didn’t work, and their quarrels never ceased. The conflict between Denys and
Karen is actually a contradiction between love and freedom.
There is no doubt that Denys and Karen were madly in love. Originally, Baron always indulged in his own carefree life which provided a perfect opportunity for Denys and Karen to develop their relationship. Denys appreciated Mozart, and played his record for her. He took her to prairie and saved her life in a lion-attack. He told her stories while washing her hair. They danced around the campfire, and then, made love in the camp. They had a great time together. However, when Karen begged him not to go, he lapsed into silence...
Much as they loved each other, their different expectations of love led to the conflicts. She loved Denys so much that she just couldn't bear the suffering of departure and waiting. However, irresponsibility, freedom, and wide space were Denys’s defination of happiness. As a staunch woman, she knew that she couldn't
change anything, but she told him, “There are something worth owning, but you need
to pay the price, and I want to be one of them.” When Denys was flying freely in the
sky, he should consider, is this kind of life style honest to himself or irresponsible for his beloved?
There are no permanent love or freedom without paying the price, people firmly believe that. How strange it seems that love, which should be the most free and voluntary of all human relationships, so often becomes a means of security and a source of obligation. Perhaps love turns into clinging dependence when people are insecure within themselves—lonely, inadequate, needy at their deepest levels of being. Maybe lovers become possessive when they cannot stand alone. That’s why Karen were so dependant on Denys.
All these contribute to the contradiction between love and freedom. But actually, when people learn to trust each other, they may find that they can love in freedom. To love freely and creatively means to renew the commitment and hence the relationship every day. It will help you to achieve the freedom in love instead of fixed patterns. When two fall in love, they should be happy because they are writing their stories together, in the phase of their lives. Love is the unique creation of two people, and it
should be one of the ever-fresh projects instead of stupid rituals. And love and
freedom go together -- you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows
freedom is full of love, and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom.