Jesus Christ, I'm Sorry

By Danielle Elliott,2014-01-31 04:32
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Jesus Christ, I'm Sorry

    Jesus Christ, I’m Sorry


    A One Act Play by Brent Hirose

    Copyright ? 2007 by Brent Hirose

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    Jesus Christ, I’m Sorry

    Jesus Christ, I’m Sorry was performed at the 2006 Winnipeg Fringe Festival with the following cast


    Directed by Brent Hirose

    Stage Managed by Laura Enns and Liz Johnson

    Special thanks to Brenda McLean, Cory Wreggitt and Heidi Malazdrewich It was subsequently remounted (with substantial re-writes) for the inaugural 2007 FRIGID Fest in New

    York City with the same cast.

Special thanks for that production to Ellen Peterson.

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    Jesus Christ, I’m Sorry

    (Blackout. The lights rise, indicating a bright evening. The stage is bare. Music fades and in the background there are the distant sounds of a party. Andrew, an 18 year old high school graduate slowly enters, holding a backpack. He sets down the backpack and opens it, revealing a plethora of papers. He briefly flips through them, and stops. He looks the sky and begins to speak.)

ANDREW: God, are you there? Listen, we’ve got to talk. I’ve been thinking lately, and I know that we’ve been drifting

     apart over the past while. I don’t know what I can do about that. I try to be good, to do what I think you

     want me to do. I had one of those “what would Jesus do” bracelets, but I look at the bible and I’m not sure

     if Jesus’ life experience was all that similar to mine. I mean, there’s this big gap in his life: He goes from

     being a good kid in his young years to a well adjusted 30 year old savior. Did he have a period of doubt?

     Because that’s what I’m going through right now and I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t really have a

     precedent for what to do. I’m graduated high school. It’s time for me to make something of myself and I’m

     at a loss as to what that is going to be. I’m going to this huge Christian youth retreat soon, and I don’t

     know what I’m looking for there. I want something, guidance, answers. Anything.

(He looks on, expectantly)

     Nothing. When I was just a kid, doing this would bring me comfort. I had faith then, faith that everything

     was okay and that I was on the right path. Now I’m just tired. Tired of being confused, of being sorry, of

     being frustrated. I mean, Jesus Christ, I’m sorry, but what do you want from me? (He waits, nothing)

     That’s the answer I was expecting. (He hears something) Who’s there?

SETH: Andrew, buddy! Dude, you’re missing the party! Everybody is asking where you went!

ANDREW: Really?

SETH: No, I just totally got lost. Shit man, I’m wasted.

ANDREW: That’s nice Seth. That’s really… special.

    SETH: Dude, you totally have to remind me to thank your dad for letting us have the party here.

ANDREW: I’ll let him know when he gets back in town. Don’t you have some drinking to get back to?

SETH: Yes I do. Drinking that you will be joining me for. I refuse to drink alone, that’s the first sign of being an


ANDREW: Alright. I’ve just got to do this thing, then I’ll come up and join you, okay?

SETH: A thing? Oooh, big mystery. Like, what?

    ANDREW: Just this tradition I have. I come out to the back here and burn all my notes from the school year. You

     know, put all that stuff behind me.

SETH: Well, what have you got here? (Opens the bag) Ohhh, math homework. Are you sure you don’t want to

     keep this? Look you got ten out of ten on this one!

    ANDREW: My greatest accomplishment to date. Chemistry notes. I think some of these are from the year before

     even. Man. (He rips them up)

SETH: You are truly an uber nerd. Hey, why bother ripping them up if you’re just going to burn them anyway?

ANDREW: Maybe I won’t. I’d have to start up the fire and everything, I don’t know, I just needed to get outside and

     clear my head. I figured I might as well deal with this at the same time. How’s the party doing?

SETH: It’s well in hand. Only a handful of people are doing their devotions to the porcelain god. A great way to

     cap off the year, let me tellya. Oh, check it out, French homework. (He tears it up) Here’s to never

     conjugating a verb in passé-compose ever again!

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    Jesus Christ, I’m Sorry

    ANDREW: And here’s to the last busy-work cross word we’ll ever have to do because the teacher didn’t prepare

     enough lessons!

SETH: And to physics, because physics sucks.

ANDREW: And here’s… a picture. Crap, how did this get in here. This is from last year, you, me, Jen and Ethan. We

     look so happy. I guess we were.

SETH: Dude, you want to talk about?

ANDREW: Maybe when you’re sober.

SETH: Well, not tonight then.

ANDREW: Another time. (He grimaces for a second, then throws the whole contents of the backpack on the ground)

     You know what? I’ve got the rest of my life to think about this stuff. Right now, there’s a party going on,

     and I don’t know if I could forgive myself if I missed it.

SETH: Alright, but one more. (He hands Andrew a paper) Here’s to high school!

ANDREW: To the end