Love Is Not a Game
A flower without having experienced sunlight and rain showers in the wild forest will have no claim to true beauty. Likewise, one who has never gone through the baptism of romantic love will have little genuine knowledge of life.
Romantic love is the core of human life. Mencius says, “The desire
for food and sex is nature.” In other words, love is innate. If one remains
a lifelong stranger to love, how can he thoroughly understand life?
Man becomes capable through learning. That’s why a coach is
important whatever sport or game one is engaged in. But love is an exception. Boys and girls, when they are of age and meet an opportune moment, will become mysteriously attached to one another.
Though people love by instinct, there are some who can never understand it in the true sense. Nor can its true value be appreciated by the morally degenerate. More often than not, love is but carnal desire in disguise and is treated as a mere game. That is why we so often hear tragic stories of love.
True love is not a game. When a man and woman are deeply
immersed in true love, they are full of amazing inner strength. Their souls are freed from all bondage. They are unyielding before threats and incorruptible before any material temptation. They transcend the reality to create an ideal paradise of their own.
Wherever a game is in process, it needs audience, being excited and entertained, and also cheering for the players. Differently, love can proceed secretly in one’s heart, without surface manifestation. I had once a close friend who had been struggling with a disease for many years. He didn’t let known the deep love to a sweet girl until the last minute of his life. But actually, this mysterious love had been hidden deeply in his mind for nearly twenty years and already, like a miracle, transformed into the strength and reason for his courageous and continuous fighting with the devil disease.
On the playground, players are competing with each other through various techniques and strategies. In contrast, true love allows no tricks. Love means reciprocal trust between a couple. With trust, they are willing to be open to each other and can shed masks and pretenses and reveal their inner selves. They firmly believe their choice lovable and never deliberately hurt or abandon each other.
Game is all the time exciting. However, in a love relationship, there are times of boredom, times when people feel like giving up, times of strain and times we experience impasse. Authentic love does not imply enduring happiness. Nevertheless, love is a spirit that changes life, particularly during rough times or in painful situations. Love is meant for our imperfect world where things casually go wrong. Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appears to control our fate. In
simple words, love comes into an imperfect world to make it livable.
Whatever game it is, the exciting process ends in the same way, one player with smile, the other tears. Instead, true love brings happiness and satisfaction on both parts. If there are moments of tears or crying, they are surely to be instants of being moved and surprised. There being neither winner nor loser, love is definitely a win-win relationship.
True love spurs one to the higher attainment. It embodies the supreme quality of selflessness, and is, above all, symbolic of beauty.
The honest evidence of our love is our commitment to encouraging another’s full development. We are interdependent personalities who need one another’s presence in order to fulfill our destiny. And yet, we are also separate individuals. We must come to terms with our struggles alone.
Genuine love means having a want for the person without having a need for that person in order to be complete. If one is nothing without the other, one cannot be free to love. When experiencing a loss and sadness or loneliness, one is still able to survive without feelings of envy or resentment. To put it another way, mature love is union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity, one’s individuality. In love this
paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
Unfortunately, in this present world overflowing with material desires, this kind of true love is as rare as the feeble light of fireflies. What is more, “love” sometimes even leads to moral degeneration on the
part of ignorant men and women. Over this, Venus cannot help lamenting
with a deep sigh, “Love has become a mere game since humanity set out
on its way to extinction. O what a sad story!”