By Alvin Boyd,2014-05-20 07:43
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    What are you going to do after this lesson?

    I'm probably going to have a cup of tea. What about you? Oh, I'm going to the post office.

    I see.

Can you come and see me at nine o'clock?

    I'm afraid not. You see, I'm meeting Mr. Green at nine.

    I hear you are playing at a concert tomorrow. How do you feel about it? Oh, I'm really worried about it.

    I'm not surprised. So would I be.

What are your plans for tomorrow, Brenda?

    Well, first, I'm going to do the washing up.

    Poor you! While you're doing the washing up, I'll be having breakfast in bed. It's alright for some people.

    I'd like to withdraw fifty pounds from my deposit account. Certainly. Would you please sign this form?

    Oh, yes. There you are.

    How would you like the money?

    In fives, please.

    Fine. Here you are.

    Thanks. Goodbye.

How are you, Brenda?

    Fine, apart from the backache.

    Oh, dear, I'm sorry to hear that.

    Yes. My back's killing me.

    Oh, I hope you'll soon feel better.


Man: Waitress! This meat is like old leather! It's enough to break every tooth in your head.

    Waitress: Perhaps you'd like to change your order, sir. The sirloin is very tender.

Woman: John, look what that waiter's gone and done! Spilt soup all over my new dress!

Waiter: I'm terribly sorry, madam. Perhaps if I could sponge it with a little warm water...

    Man: Leave it alone, man. You'll only make it worse.

    Woman: I want to speak to the Manager!

    Waiter: Very good, madam.

    Manager: I do apologize for this unfortunate accident, madam. If you would like to have the dress cleaned and send the bill to us, we will be happy to take care of it. Woman: Oh no, it doesn't matter. Forget it. It probably won't stain very much.

    Man: Waiter, this just won't do. This wine's got a most peculiar flavor. Waiter: Yes, sir. I'll take it back. Perhaps you would like to choose another wine instead,



    Hello. Who's that?

    It's me.

    Who's me?

    Why, me, of course.

    Yes, I know. It's you. But who are you?

    I've told you who I am. I am ME.

    I know you are you, but I still don't know who you are. Anyway, I don't want to talk to you whoever you are. I really wanted Mrs. Jones.

    Who do you want?

    Mrs. Jones!

    Mrs. Jones? Who's Mrs. Jones?

    Why, Mrs. Jones lives where you are, doesn't she?

    There is no Mrs. Jones here. What number do you want?

    I want Bournemouth, 650283.

    This is Bournemouth, 650823.

    Oh, dear, I am sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number. It's quite alright.

    I'll try dialing again. Sorry to have troubled you.

    It's quite alright. Goodbye.


Two old men are talking about the days gone by. Listen.

    The beer's just like water. They don't make it as strong as they used to. No. Things aren't what they used to be, are they?

    The pubs aren't any good nowadays.

    No. But they used to be good when we were young.

    The trouble is that the young people don't work hard.

    No, but they used to work hard when we were young.

    Ten years ago, I loved watching television and listening to pop records. I hated classical music. But I liked playing tennis. Five years ago I still liked playing tennis, but I loved classical music. Now I prefer classical music. I like playing squash. But I hate television.

Mr. Davies is talking to his son Martin.

    Mr. Davies: (quietly) Why aren't you doing your homework?

    Martin: I'll do it later, Dad. I must get these chords right first. Our group's playing in a concert on Saturday.

    Mr. Davies: (laughs) Oh, is it? You'll be making records next, will you? Martin: We hope so. The man from 'Dream Discs' is coming to the concert. So I'd better play well.

    Mr. Davies: You'd better get on with your homework! You can practise all day Saturday. Martin: Oh, Dad. You don't understand at all. This concert could change my life. Mr. Davies: It certainly could! You've got exams next month. Important ones. If you don't get a good certificate, you won't get a decent job.

    Martin: (rudely) I don't need a certificate to play the guitar. And I don't want a boring old job in a bank either.

    Mr. Davies: (angrily) Oh, don't you? Whose boring old job paid for this house? And for that guitar?

    Martin: (sighs) Yours, I know. But I'd rather be happy than rich.

Letter Dictation. Write your address, your phone number and the date.

    The letter is to Winnipeg Advanced Education College. Winnipeg, W-I-double N-I-P-E-G, Advanced Education College, Hillside Drive, Winnipeg.

    Dear Sir or Madam. Please send me details of your courses in Computer Programming. New line. Thanking you in advance. Yours faithfully, and then sign your name.

(Your address)

    (Your phone number)


Winnipeg Advanced Education College,

    Hillside Drive,


Dear Sir or Madam,

    Please send me details of your courses in computer Programming.

    Thanking you in advance.

Yours faithfully,

    Your name

    Write your address, your phone number and the date. To Sea View Hotel. Sea View, S-E-A V-I-E-W Hotel, Harbor Road, Cork, Ireland.

    Dear Sir or Madam. I would like to book a double room with bath for two weeks from the

    first to the fourteenth of August inclusive. New line. I look forward to receiving your

    confirmation. Yours faithfully and then sign your name.

(Your address)

    (Your phone number)


Sea View Hotel,

    Harbor Road,



Dear Sir or Madam,

    I would like to book a double room with bath for two weeks from the 1st to the 14th of

    August inclusive.

    I look forward to receiving your confirmation.

Yours faithfully,

    Your name


    Do you think you could stop whistling? I'm trying to write an essay. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were in the other room.

Is it alright if I leave my rucksack on the back seat?

    Yes, of course. Go ahead.

    And would you mind if I took off my shoes? My feet are killing me. Well, I'd rather you didn't. It's a rather hot day.

    Hello, Charles, I haven't seen you all day. What have you been doing? Actually I've been working on my first novel.

    Oh, yes. How far have you got with it?

    Well, I thought of a good title, and I made a list of characters, and I've designed the

    front cover.

    Have you started writing it yet?

    Oh, yes. I've written two pages already.

    Only two?

    Well, yes. I haven't quite decided yet what happens next.

I saw an accident yesterday.

    What were you doing at the time?

    I was queuing for the cinema.

    And what did you do when you saw the accident?

    I rushed forward to see if I could help.

    Hmm. You are a good squash player. How long have you been playing? I have been playing since the beginning of the last term. What about you? Me? Oh, I've been playing about two years now. But I'm still not very good.

I've got a watch with a silver strap.

    That's nothing. I've got one with a gold strap.

    I've got a watch that tells you the date.

    That's nothing. I've got one that tells you the date and the day.

    Woman: Look at these glasses, this one's even got lipstick on it. Waiter: I'm very sorry, madam. I'll bring you clean ones right away.

Man: Ah, Head Waiter, I want to have a word with you.

    Head Waiter: Yes, sir. Is there something wrong, sir?

    Man: Something wrong? I should think there is something wrong. My wife and I have been kept here waiting nearly an hour for our meal!

    Head Waiter: I'm terribly sorry about that, sir. Our staff has been kept unusually busy this evening. I'll see to it personally myself. Now, if you wouldn't mind just telling me what you ordered.

Woman: This coffee is practically cold.

    Waiter: I am sorry, madam. I'll bring you a fresh pot straight away.

    This table shows the number of commuters into central London between 7:00 am and 10:00 am daily. The total number is 1,023,000. Of these, 405,000 travel by undergroundthat's 29% of the total, and 28% travel by British Railthat's 391,000

    people daily. 10% use both rail and underground, and 10%, 99,000 people, travel by bus. That means a total of 788,000 people, 77%, on public transport. The remainder use private transport. 197,000 come by car and the rest come either by motorbike or bicycle. This means 4% come by motorbike or bicycle, and 19% by car.

Mrs. Nicholas went away for a fortnight. Before she went, she called in at the local police

    station and talked to the policeman on duty.

    Mrs. Nicholas: I'm going away to the seaside for a few days and I'd like you to keep an

    eye on my home while I'm away.

    Policeman: Certainly, Madam. What's your name and address? Mrs. Nicholas: The name's Nicholas, and the address is 14 Spring Vale. Policeman: Thank you. You'll lock all the doors, and make sure all the windows are shut,

    won't you?

    Mrs. Nicholas: Of course.

    Policeman: And you'll remember to cancel the milk.

    Mrs. Nicholas: Yes, I've already done that.

    Policeman: And the papers.

    Mrs. Nicholas: Yes.

    Policeman: And you won't leave any ladders about.

    Mrs. Nicholas: No, we haven't got a big ladder.

    Policeman: That's fine. Are you friendly with the people next door? Mrs. Nicholas: Yes, we are.

    Policeman: Well, I think you'd better tell them you're going away, too. Ask them to give

    us a ring if they see or hear anything suspicious.

    Mrs. Nicholas: Yes, I will. Thank you.

(There is a party in progress and one person A is standing by the drinks table serving

    drinks. B approaches and A offers her a drink.)

    B: Aha, I thought you might be here.

    A: Ah, hello. How are you?

    B: Not bad. How are you?

    A: All right, I suppose.

    B: What are you drinking?

    A: Some sort of wine. Do you want some?

    B: No, I think I'd prefer beer. Have they got any?

    A: Yes, there's some over there.

    (B pours out a drink.)

    B: Well, what do you think of the party?

    A: It's not bad. I'm not really in the mood for a party, though. B: Why's that?'

    A: I don't know, really. I suppose I'm a bit tired.

    (During the last exchange C has approached the table to get a drink. A offers C a drink but

    accidentally drops it.)

    A: Oh, sorry about that.

    C: (annoyed) I should think so!

    A: Don't worry. It's not too bad.

    C: What do you mean? It's gone all over my trousersI only bought them last week.

    A: There's no need to shout.

C: (loudly) I'm not shouting.

    A: Yes, you are.

    C: (very loudly) No, I'm not!

    B: (wanting to calm the situation) Look, look, why don't you dry them with this? C: (ignoring B) You should watch what you're doing!

    A: What do you mean? It was your fault!

    B: How about another drink? (C ignores B.)

    C: Anyway, don't I know you?

    B: Do you want another drink? (C ignores B.)

    A: You might do.

    C: You didn't go to St. Mark's School, did you?

    A: Yes, I did actually.

    C: Yes, I remember now. You were going out with that awful girl, weren't you? A: What do you mean?

    C: You know, the one with the big nose. What happened to her?

    A: We got married, actually. In fact, that's her over there.

    C: Yes ...

    1. A woman went into a bar and asked for a glass of water. The barman pointed a gun at her. She thanked him and went out.

    2. A man was found lying dead in the middle of a desert. He had a pack on his back. 3. A woman dialed the number on the telephone. Someone answered and said, "Hello." She put the phone down with a happy smile.

    4. A man is found dead in the room. There is no furniture, and all the doors and windows are locked from the inside. There is a pool of water on the floor. 5. There is a man on the bed and a piece of wood on the floor. The second man comes into the room with sawdust on his hands, smiles and goes out again. Lesson13

    Can I help you, sir?

    We want a meal.

    What sort of meal? A hot one or a cold one?

    A salad, I think.

    Which one, sir? A ham or a beef salad?

    What's this sort of salad in English?

    Which one are you looking at, sir?

    That one over there, next to the bread rolls.

    That's a beef salad, sir.

    Thank you. Is there any rye bread?

    No, I'm sorry. There are plenty of rolls.

Excuse me, sir, where do you come from?

    We come from Copenhagen.

You speak English very well.

    Thank you.

    What are you doing at the moment?

    We're visiting London.

    What do you both do?

    We are teachers.

Do you like your salad?

    Yes. It's nice and fresh. Is yours good, too?

    No. Mine is rather tasteless.

    You need some salt and some olive oil.

Allow me to fetch you a chair.

    Thank you, but I've just asked the waiter to get me one.

    Let me get you a drink, then.

    Thank you again, but look, John's bringing me one now.

    I don't seem to be very useful, do I?

    Don't say that. There's always another time, you know.

Man: Three gin and tonics please.

    Waitress: I'm sorry, sir, but we're not allowed to serve drinks before twelve o'clock midday. Would you like me to bring you something else? Some coffee?

    Man: Waiter, this table-cloth is a disgrace. It's covered with soup stains. Waiter: Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. It should have been changed before. If you'll just wait one moment ...

    Man: Waiter. I can't quite understand how you manage to get ten marks plus twelve marks plus sixty-five marks fifty pennies to add up to one hundred and seventy-seven marks fifty pennies.

    Waiter: One moment, I'll just check it, sir. You're quite right, sir. I can't understand how such a mistake could have been made. I do apologize, sir.

    Interviewer: Now let's go back to your first novel, Rag Doll. When did you write that? Writer: Rag Doll, yes. I wrote that in 1960, a year after I left school. Interviewer: How old were you then?

    Writer: Um, eighteen? Yes, eighteen, because a year later I went to Indonesia. Interviewer: Mm. And of course it was your experience in Indonesia that inspired your

film Eastern Moon.

    Writer: Yes, that's right, although I didn't actually make Eastern Moon until 1978. Interviewer: And you worked in television for a time too.

    Writer: Yes, I started making documentaries for television in 1973, when I was thirty. That was after I gave up farming.

    Interviewer: Farming?

    Writer: Yes, that's right. You see, I stayed in Indonesia for eight years. I met my wife there in 1965, and after we came back we bought a farm in the West of England, in 1970. A kind of experiment, really.

    Interviewer: But you gave it up three years later.

    Writer: Well, yes. You see it was very hard work, and I was also very busy working on my second novel, The Cold Earth, which came out in 1975.

    Interviewer: Yes, that was a best-seller, wasn't it?

    Writer: Yes, it was, and that's why only two years after that I was able to give up television work and concentrate on films and that sort of thing. And after that ...

Shop Assistant: Harling's Hardware.

    Customer: Hello. I'd like to buy a new fridge. I can't afford a very expensive one, and it mustn't be more than 140 cm high.

    Shop Assistant: Right. I think I have one here. Wait a moment. Yes, here we are. It's 50 cm wide and 130 cm high.

    Customer: Oh. And how much is it?

    Shop Assistant: It's one hundred and twenty-nine pounds, very cheap. Customer: I'll come over and have a look at it.

A: Good morning. Can I help you?

    B: Yes. I'd like to find my perfect partner.

    A: I see. Well, if you could just answer a few questions?

    B: Certainly.

    A: First of all, what age would you like your partner to be?

    B: About twenty. Not more than twenty-five, anyway.

    A: Okay. And what sort of build?

    B: What do you mean?

    A: Well, would you like someone who is very slim or would you prefer someone rather more plump?

    B: Ah, I see what you mean. I don't think I mind, actually.

    A: And what about height?

    B: Oh, not too tall.

    A: So, medium-height?

    B: Yes, and long hair.

    A: Any particular color?

    B: No. As long as it's long, it doesn't matter what color.

A: Good. Now, is there anything else at all?

    B: Well, obviously I'd like someone good-looking. A: Well, we'll see what we can do. Would you like to fill in this form in the next room and

    I'll call you soon.

    (enters C)

    C: Hello. Is this the Perfect Partners office? A: That's right.

    C: I'm interested in meeting someone new.

    A: Well, you've certainly come to the right p1ace. What sort of person are you looking for?

    C: Oh, someone tall, dark and handsome.

    A: I see. And what sort of age?

    C: Oh, mid-twenties, I suppose.

    A: Well, I might have just the person for you. Could I just ask how old you are?

    C: Twenty-four.

    A: Good. Could you just wait here a minute?

    (C puzzled)

    (A goes and fetches B)

    A: This doesn't usually happen, but I think I've found just the person for you.

    B: Oh, no!

    C: Not you!

    B: What are you doing here?

    C: I think I should be asking you that.

    B: Well, I just wanted to ... (interrupted by A) A: Excuse me, but what's going on?

    C: That's my husband.

    B: And that's my wife.

    A: But you're just right for each other, from what you told me. (Pause)

    B: Yes ... I see what you mean.

    C: I suppose it's true. You are what I'm looking for. B: Oh, darling. Why did we ever leave each other? C: I don't know, but it's not too late, is it? B: No. (they embrace)

    A: Excuse me.

    B & C: (surprised) Sorry?

    A: That'll be twenty-five pounds please!

47 Riverside Road, London SE1 4LP.

    10th May, 1989

Dear Chris,

    Thanks for your letter. I'm sorry I haven't answered it sooner but writing is difficult at the

    moment. I fell off my bike last week and broke my arm. It isn't anything very serious and

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