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young

By Mark Sanders,2015-01-30 01:19
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young

    YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

    Screenplay by Gene Wilder

     Mel Brooks

Produced by Michael Gruskoff

Directed by Mel Brooks

Cast List:

Gene Wilder Dr. Frederick Frankenstein

    Peter Boyle Frankenstein's Monster

    Marty Feldman Igor

    Madeline Kahn Elizabeth

    Cloris Leachman Frau Blucher

    Teri Garr Inga

    Kenneth Mars Inspector Kemp

    Gene Hackman Blind Man

    FADE IN:

EXT. FRANKENSTEIN CASTLE

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

A CRACK OF THUNDER!

On a distant, rainy hill, the old Frankenstein castle, as we knew and loved it, is illuminated by

    ANOTHER BOLT OF LIGHTNING.

    MUSIC: AN EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY begins to PLAY in the background.

ANOTHER ANGLE

As we MOVE SLOWLY CLOSER to the castle. It is completely dark, except for one room a

    study in the corner of the castle which is only lit by candles.

Now we are just outside a rain-splattered window of the study. We LOOK IN and SEE:

INT. STUDY NIGHT

An open coffin rests on a table we can not see it's contents. As the CAMERA SLOWLY CIRCLES

    the coffin for a BETTER VIEW...

    A CLOCK BEGINS TO CHIME: "ONE", "TWO", "THREE", "FOUR... "

    We are ALMOST FACING the front of the coffin. "FIVE", "SIX", "SEVEN", "EIGHT... "

The CAMERA STOPS. Now it MOVES UP AND ABOVE the satin-lined coffin. "NINE", "TEN",

    "ELEVEN", "T W E L V E!"

    CUT TO:

THE EMBALMED HEAD OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

Half of still clings to the waxen balm; the other half has decayed to skull. Below his head is a

    skeleton, whose bony fingers cling to a metal box.

A HAND

Reaches in to grasp the metal box. It lifts the box halfway out of the coffin the skeleton's fingers

    rising, involuntarily, with the box.

Then, as of by force of will, the skeleton's fingers grab the box back and place it where it was.

    Now the "Hand" using its other hand grabs the box back from the skeleton's fingers. The skeleton no longer resists.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Whose "Hands" we have just seen, now carries the box to a small table. He takes a tiny key out

    from his vest pocket and begins to unlock the metal box.

NINE PEOPLE watch him closely. They are seated on chairs in the study, waiting to hear the

    contents of Beaufort Frankenstein's will. Their dress is turn-of-the-century Transylvanian.

Cornelius Waldman fumbles with the lock, emitting strange grunts as he tries to open it. With each

    grunt, the face of a "potential Heir" is SEEN, squirming with frustration or anger.

    FIRST VILLAGER (WALTER)

    Fumbling fool! For two kronen I'd rip that box fight out of

    his hands.

    ILSE (HIS WIFE)

    Shhh!

    NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER (HENRICH)

    Hurry. Idiot, hurry!

    AGATHA (HIS WIFE)

    Quiet, Henrich! We've waited seventy years... another three

    or four seconds won't hurt.

    NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER

    Another three of four more seconds? I could be dead by

    then.

    AGATHA Shhh!

    FIFTH VILLAGER (A MAN) What if he's left you out?

    HELENE (HIS GIRL FRIEND) Just let him try I'll take care of him.

    ANASTASIA (A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN) Oh, Mommy... I hardly remember. Did the Baron really

    like me when I was a child?

    MARLENE (HER MOTHER) Like a father!

    NINTH VILLAGER (WOLFGANG)

    (muttering to himself)

    Wenn dieser blode Kerl sich nicht beeilt werde ich verrückt.

    Was zum Teufel macht er?

    MARLENE Shhh!

    Cornelius Waldman finally opens the lock. He takes out an old parchment, puts on his glasses,

    coughs and sputters a few times, and then begins to read.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN "I, Beaufort Frankenstein, in this my eighty third year of

    life, do hereby make, publish and declare the following

    statements as and for my last will and testament, and I

    direct my executor, Cornelius Waldman, to inform and

    assemble those persons previously divulged to him, that

    they may hear in my own voice the final disposition of

    my property."

    At the words, "In my own voice," the nine "Potential Heirs" exchange curious glances.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN

    (still reading)

    "Such disposition to commerce at the hour of twelve

    o'clock of my one hundredth birthday. If all the conditions

    heretofore set forth have been met, now then hear once

    more, and for the last time... the authenticity of my own

    voice!"

    Cornelius Waldman nods to a Clerk, HERR FALKSTEIN, who is standing nearby.

    Herr Falkstein places the needle of an old victrola onto an already spinning record. It

    SCRATCHES and then begins to PLAY.

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.) How do you do this thing? Where? In here? Just talk right

    into it? All right. Am I close enough? All right, all right

    get the hell out of the way.

    (he clears his throat, then speaks in a

    deep, majestic voice)

    The once proud name of Frankenstein has been dragged,

    by my only son, Victor, into an abyss of shame. There was a

    time when the name 'Frankenstein' conjured dreams of

    virtue, of honor and devotion. Now, no guilt, no malignity,

    no misery can be found to equal mine. And the catalogue of

    sins of my once devoted son will not cease to rankle in my

    wounds until death shall close them forever so supremely

    frightful is the effect of any human endeavor to mock the

    stupendous mechanism of the Creator of the world. Did you

    get all that? Are you sure you got 'rankle in my wounds'?

    I'll kill you if you screw this up. All right, all right. Now as

    to the disposition of my estate.

Everyone in the room sits alert.

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    To my cousins, Henrich and Agatha...

    CUT TO:

THE NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER AND HIS WIFE

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    ... and to my cousin Walter and his wife Ilse...

    CUT TO:

WALTER AND ILSE

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    ... and to my niece Helene...

    CUT TO:

HELENE

Sitting with her boyfriend.

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    ... and my dear nephew Wolfgang...

    CUT TO:

WOLFGANG

Sitting alone.

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    ... and lastly, to my cherished old friend, Marlene, and her

    charming daughter, Anastasia...

    CUT TO:

ANASTASIA AND HER MOTHER

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    ... to all of you, in equal shares, I hereby give, devise and

    bequeath, absolutely and without any restrictions

    whatsoever, all property of every sort and description,

    whether real, personal or mixed, to which my estate shall

    be entitled.

HENRICH AND AGATHA

Are hugging each other.

WALTER AND ILSE

Hugging each other.

HELENE AND ANASTASIA

Hugging each other.

WOLFGANG

Is hugging himself.

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    Unless...!

GROUP SHOT

They all look up suddenly from their hugging.

ANOTHER ANGLE

SCRATCH, SCRATCH, SCRATCH... the needle has reached the end of the first side.

HERR FALKSTEIN

Lifts the arm off and turns the record over.

    HERR FALKSTEIN

    (apologetically)

    It's a seventy-eight.

He places the needle on the record.

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    ... Unless... my only male heir, my great-grandson,

    Frederick whom I have never seen but who is, at the time

    of this recording, ten years of age and residing in America

    with my granddaughter, Katherine has, by his own free

    will, embraced Medicine as his career and acquitted

    himself with some measure of esteem. Then, to him I leave...

    everything!

The nine "Potential Heirs" are expressionless.

    VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

    My castle, together with its laboratory, its public and

    private library, and all notes and journals contained

    therein, all acreage surrounding my estate, plus all income

    and principle thereof... in the fond hope that yet another

    Frankenstein shall lift our family name to an eminence of

    dignity, and sanity, that it once enjoyed. As for my dear

friends and relations, should this latter improbability come

    to be... I know that I have your complete understanding.

    For the road to salvation and repentance must be paved up

    the avenue of my soul, and not up yours, up yours, up yours,

    up yours, up yours...

    Herr Falkstein removes the needle from the finished record.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN Herr Falkstein! Did you inform Frederick Frankenstein of

    this assembly and all the particulars of the time and place?

    HERR FALKSTEIN I did, sir.

    He takes a cablegram out from his pocket.

    HERR FALKSTEIN But I received a cable only this morning, saying that he

    could not come.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN Was he aware of the importance of this occasion?

    HERR FALKSTEIN Yes, sir, he was. But he said he was obligated to lecture at

    Johns Hopkins University.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN What lecture could be more important than the will of

    Baron Beaufort Frankenstein?

    HERR FALKSTEIN

    (reading the cable)

    "Functional areas of the cerebrum in relation to the skull."

    The Ninety-Year-Old Villager passes out.

    ANASTASIA

    (very sweetly)

    Excuse me, Mr. Waldman excuse me for interrupting.

    But is Frederick, then... a medical doctor?

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN Yes, my dear, he is.

    ANASTASIA And has he achieved... any special degree of eminence?

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN He is the fifth leading authority in his field.

    ANASTASIA

    (sinking her head into her hand)

    Oh, shit.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN Herr Falkstein you must go at once and present Dr. Frankenstein with all the details of his inheritance. The

    estate will provide for your journey.

    HELENE

    I object, Herr Waldman! This is a travesty. If the beloved

    great-grandson cared anything at all for the House of

    Frankenstein, he would have shown it by being here with

    those of us who still have some respect. I think we should

    completely disregard the afterthoughts of a very old man.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN

    Madam the foundation of civilization rests upon

    adherence to the law. And the Law is the Law. Das Gesetz

    ist das Gesetz!

Wolfgang the man who mutters only in German CRASHES the back of his head halfway into

    the wall behind him.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN

    Herr Falkstein! You have your instructions!

    HERR FALKSTEIN

    Yes, sir.

    CORNELIUS WALDMAN

    I have taken an oath that each letter of this testament shall

    be executed... and by God, it shall be done!

The lid of Beaufort Frankenstein's coffin SLAMS SHUT by itself.

    DISSOLVE TO:

LEGEND ON THE SCREEN

It reads:

"JOHNS HOPKINS HOSPITAL

    BALTIMORE, MARYLAND"

INT. MEDICAL ARENA DAY

Herr Falkstein quietly enters into the balcony of an arena packed with young MEDICAL

    STUDENTS. A lecture is in progress.

    LECTURER'S VOICE (O.S.)

    If we look at the base of a brain which has just been

    removed from a skull, there's very little of the midbrain

    that we can actually see.

Herr Falkstein proceeds, almost on tiptoe, along the aisle towards a vacant seat. He is carrying a

    briefcase and a small metal box.

    LECTURER'S VOICE (O.S.)

    Yet, as I demonstrated in my lecture last week, if the under

    aspects of the temporal lobes are gently pulled apart, the

    upper portion of the stem of the brain can be seen.

    Herr Falkstein's footsteps ECHO ever so lightly against the cold stone floor, as he passes the faces of students intense with concentration.

    LECTURER'S VOICE (O.S.)

    This so called 'brain stem' consists of the midbrain, a

    rounded protrusion called the pons, and a stalk tapering

    downwards called the medulla oblongata which passes out

of the skull through the foramen magnum and becomes, of

    course... the spinal cord.

    Herr Falkstein finds a vacant place and sits down.

    LECTURER'S VOICE (O.S.) Which brings us directly to the demonstration prepared for

    today. Are there any questions before we proceed?

    MEDICAL STUDENT

    (rising)

    I have one question, Dr. Frankenstein.

    CUT TO:

    ANOTHER ANGLE

    Our first LOOK at the famous Lecturer.

    FREDDY That's 'Fronkonsteen'.

    MEDICAL STUDENT I beg your pardon?

    FREDDY My name is pronounced Fron-kon-steen.

    MEDICAL STUDENT Oh! I thought it was Dr. Frankenstein.

    FREDDY No, it's Dr. Fronkonsteen!

    MEDICAL STUDENT But aren't you the grandson of the famous Dr. Victor

    Frankenstein? Who performed such fascinating

    experiments in electricity and galvanism?

    FREDDY That's true! But my grandfather, Victor was, after all, what

    we might politely refer to as... a cuckoo!

    Polite laughter.

    FREDDY I prefer, by far, to be remembered for my own small

    contributions to science. Now if we can proceed to your

    questions.

    MEDICAL STUDENT Well sir... I'm not sure I understand the distinction between

    'Reflexive' and 'Voluntary' nerve impulses.

    FREDDY Very good! Since our lab work today is a demonstration of

    just that distinction... why don't we proceed?

    Behind Freddy is a PATIENT, lying on an operating table. CARLSON, an assistant, stands near

    the Patient, next to a small table of instruments.

    FREDDY

    What are we actually talking about when we use the term,

    'Brain'? We are talking about... a cauliflower!

Freddy turns to Carlson.

    FREDDY

    May I have the cauliflower, please!

Carlson hands Freddy a giant cauliflower.

    FREDDY

    If we make a small slit, down the center of this cauliflower...

Freddy turns to Carlson, who hands him the scalpel. Freddy makes a small slit down the center of

    the cauliflower.

    FREDDY

    ... and then, ever so gently, gently, gently... pull it apart...

Freddy has some difficulty pulling the cauliflower apart. It begins to crumble, but he goes on,

    professionally.

    FREDDY

    ... we should find, with any luck at all... a stalk of... celery!

There is no celery inside the cauliflower. Freddy flushes red.

    FREDDY

    (to Carlson)

    Where did you get this cauliflower?

    CARLSON

    From your office, sir.

    FREDDY

    Didn't you prepare it with the celery before my lecture?

    CARLSON

    Yes, sir. But I must have taken the wrong one when we

    came up.

    FREDDY

    (in quiet rage)

    Are you trying to make me look like an idiot?

    CARLSON

    No, sir. It will never happen again.

    FREDDY

    (handing him the cauliflower)

    Here! This cauliflower is useless to me.

Freddy turns back to his audience.

    FREDDY

    With any normal cauliflower, we would have found a stalk

    of celery, or... 'Brain Stem' which brings us to the practical

    application of our study.

Freddy moves behind the Patient on the table.

    FREDDY Mr. Hilltop here with whom I have never worked of given

    any prior instructions to has graciously offered his

    services for this afternoon's demonstration. Mr. Hilltop!

    HILLTOP Yes, sir?

    FREDDY Have we ever seen each other before this afternoon?

    HILLTOP No, sir.

    FREDDY Tell them!

    HILLTOP

    (turning to the Medical Students) No, sir we haven't.

    FREDDY

    (to his audience)

    Do I lie?

    (to Mr. Hilltop)

    Would you be so kind enough to hop up on your feet and

    stand beside this table.

    Mr. Hill top gets off of the table and stands erect.

    FREDDY Mr. Hilltop! Would you raise your left knee, please!

    Mr. Hilltop raises his left knee.

    FREDDY You have just witnessed a 'Voluntary' nerve impulse. It

    begins as a stimulus from the cerebral cortex, passes

    through the brain stem and then to the particular muscle

    involved. Mr. Hilltop, you may lower your knee.

    He lowers his knee.

    FREDDY Reflex movements are those which are made independently

    of the will, but are carried out along pathways which pass

    between the periphery and the central nervous system. You

    filthy, rotten, yellow son-of-a-BITCH!

    Freddy pokes his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's balls. Mr. Hilltop reacts accordingly.

    FREDDY We are not aware of the impulses, neither do we intend

    them to contract our muscles. Yet as you can see they

    work by themselves.

    By this time, Mr. Hilltop has lowered his protective thigh... a little nervously.

    FREDDY Now then! Modern research has shown us that by simply

    applying local pressure of ' blocking' the nerve impulse...

    which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp...

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